Premeditated Misconduct

Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer compared government assistance for low-income families to "feeding stray animals".


“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better."



Classism will be the last great -ism to come crashing down, because people are always willing to blame the poor and lower-class for their situation.

"If they just got a job..."
"If they just worked harder..."
"If they focused on getting an education..."
"If they saved some money..."
"If they weren't so lazy..."

NO.
No one deserves to live in poverty.

This isn't a lifestyle choice; this is a systematic failure.

I think I have more or less made it intact through my first year of seminary. Granted, I still have to file the paperwork for an extension and "update" my Taoism paper, hand in the bitch I just wrote for Paul, and I haven't (yet) attempted to drop my upcoming J-term, but...
I am running on four hours of sleep, strong coffee, and a bad attitude. Feels fucking fabulous in a masochistic kind of way.
Blah.

( Colorbar and Fanlisting crap )

...I yelled at one of my roommates last night.
Not just yelled, but flat-out screamed and waved my hands and cried in frustration/discontent/upsetness/irritation for a full five to ten minutes.
I was so wound up and/or distracted for the rest of the night, the emotional pain of what I did didn't hit me until I tried to sleep, and then I laid there mentally smacking my stupid self upside the head, cussing myself out, and crying some more.
I had no right to do that. It wasn't fair; it wasn't mature; it wasn't responsible... It wasn't helpful. It was, in fact, very wrong of me to do. It didn't resolve anything or make anyone feel better. No matter how frustrated or irate or hurt I get, there is still no reason for me to lose my temper that completely with someone I love. I was a fucking jackass last night, and I should have known better. I should have acted better.
Damnit, I'm a better person than that most of the time!

I'm sorry; I'm so sorry.
So sorry.
If it's possible, I'll make it up to you, I swear.


In other, unrelated news, there's a rather giddy note from Tom on the 'fridge that makes me wonder if he's finally found someone masochistic enough to want to date, or something.
I wish that thought could make me feel happy; I mean, Tom's been single for a really long time now, and I think he does deserve a chance with someone... But really, all I feel is vaguely annoyed and jealous at the idea.

...
Yeah, I'm acting my age, aren't I? [/sarcasm]
God, when the fuck do I get to stop being so goddamn dumb all the time? Soon, right? Please?

So, I got like, hired and stuff.

It was really kinda weird. I was bebopping along, totally not getting anywhere, then I plaed one phone all, did a ten minute interview and was hired.

Ok, now, I want you to think of some of the most Northland jobs you can come up with.
Great! Would fundraising to sponsor the grassroots movement of the democratic national committee fit in that list anywhere? Yes? Yeah, I thought so.

It's tough. I'm out standing in the sun for five hours a day begging passers-by for money t help defeat George Bush. I get insulted, disheartened, and sunburnt. My back hurts; I don't have enough money to eat, and I don't even know if I'm even going to have the job after Wednesday.
See, they work you for three days; in that three day period, you have to make quota at least once to beome staff, and then you have to have a weekly average of quota or above to stay hired. Wednesday's gonna be my third day, and I haven't made quota yet.

This isn't a bad thing, entirely.
I mean, while it's great to have a job that pays well and makes me feel like I'm really out making a difference in the world, it is also really tough and I run the risk of being fired every week. That's not job security.
And I have another interview with caribou coffee and also with Borders on Thursday..so if I get fired at the end of Wednesday, I still have plenty of options that are, in a lot of ways, better jobs.

It's a tough call, really. Like I mentioned, this job makes me feel like I'm really putting my money where my mouth is-- so to speak-- and making a difference about something I've bitched about many times. For every person who is rude to me, there's another person who wanders up, shakes my hand and says that though they can't contribute, they are grateful to see someone, especially a younger person, taking a stand in politics and trying to get something done.

I'm sunburnt as hell from my first day. I did put on sunblock, but I-- ahem-- missed some areas. My chest is burnt from throat halfway down my breasts., and there's another patch between my shoulders. Hurts...
I haven't been sunburnt in years and it's not pleasent.

After work I wandered down to visit David (and got myself lost in yuppie suburban St. Paul for two hours), and the first thing out of his mouth after "Hi" was "I see you got some sun."
Fuck you, man.

I am so goddamn poor. I think I'm going to have to phone home and beg some more money if possible. I can't even afford the bus to get to work right now, and I keep thinking about all the dumb things I did/am doing. Like buying a used book in Dinkytown that once, or buying a milkshake yesterday for lunch, or all the times that I rode the bus that I didn't know about the transfer deal. Those few things alone probably add up to twenty dollars. The coffee I got while waiting for Tom or the bus, the single piece of Godiva chocolate that I bought (and ate while laying under the air conditioner while listening to "Fragrance" so loudly that the floor vibrated-- better'n sex, I tell you)... It's all added up, and now I am fucking strapped. God, I hope Grassroots Org pays me this Friday for my three days of work. I desperately need it.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I gave Tom a hundred dollars for rent. If I hadn't done that, I'd be living the high life, man. Bud rides to work every day and actual food to eat during my lunch breaks. High livin'.

David gave me a bus pass and that's helped a helluva lot, even though I tried to refuse it. It's a good thing he was more presistant than me. Even the eight dollars on that made a huge difference.

I really miss everybody. I wish I had someone to really talk to (David's not the world's most chatty individual)... I wish I had someone around that I could relax with and just hang out and make jokes-- all my spare time is spent primarily by myself, and while I don't mind quality time with a book and sexy Japanese voies filtering through my headphones, it gets a little lonely. I wish i had someone with me and some of my little adventures downtown, getting lost and wandering through Nicollet Mall; I wish there was someone with me to eperience some of this stuff, so that I didn't have a constant, unanswered string of half-sided conversation and commentary running through my head, never to be articulated-- so that I could have a better perspetive on what's going on around me.

I really miss you guys. I can't wait to see you all again, even just for a day.

On an completely unrelated note, Tom's cooking would kill an elephant. Any good eating Jenny's food might have ever done me was erased in a single Tom-prepared meal. He loves pan frying in oil and doesn't drain it; we eat lots of pasta with cream sauces... Bleg. It's probably a good thing that I am on my feet so often and can't afford to eat out.

On another note, I can't freakin' watch any of the anime Jenny so sweetly burned for me; Tom's computer doesn't have the right codex. I've tried beating it into submission, and that didn't work... dunno why.

Anyway, I've gotta run. My transfer is only valid until three and with the way buses are around here... *sigh*
*poke, poke* Hey, you guys should like, call me or something. Or maybe I'll call you. Either way, i want to talk to someone sane SOON.

*points out her nifty new icons*

I only had to beat Adobe for about an hour for that. [deadpan] I'm so proud.

( Jenny, DO NOT read this! If you do, I am NOT responsible! PERVERSION AHEAD! Right... )