From the Desk of Inu-no-Jess:

[lykomancer]

Dear Edward Elric, state alchemist;

I am requesting that you please stop losing/tearing/taking off your shirt, find and adopt a real pair of pants that aren't quite so form-fitting, and hurry up and turn eighteen.
I am tired of being a pedophile.

Thank you for your attention,
Love,
Inu-no-Jess-chan, Hentai no Renkinjutsushi

P.S. The ponytail is sexier than the braid. You know, just for the record. >.>

Comments

[devils-devotion.livejournal.com]

Dude, I so totally want to c/p this letter into my own journal. We could start a chain-letter thing like that. XD! Can I, can I? *makes The Face*

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

Abuse away, darlin'. ^_^
I think we should definately have a chain letter/petition going; that's a flippin' awesome idea.

[yuuo.livejournal.com]

I second that.

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

DAMN YOU and YOUR TEASING ICONAGE! *drools, molests the dripping half-nekkid Ed* Dammit.

[yuuo.livejournal.com]

I HAVE BEEN DAMNED! :O!!

... eh, I was that a long time ago. XD We can molest the half-nekkid jailbait boy together (and rejoice that he's 18 in the movie) and both be even more damned. <3

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

Hey! My braid-wearing days might be far behind me, rapidly being obscured by a cloud of laziness and my own inability to braid hair, but that doesn't make my braid any less sexxay, when I had it. Although I admit the ponytail is vastly simpler to stylishly undo. *smoothyoink* Unbound hair. Aw fuckit, you're convincing me...

[pyrrhical.livejournal.com]

*cough* And I negate Jess' wish since, hey -- you're sixteen, I'm sixteen, and it's all good.

Though I do agree that the ponytail is sexier than the braid. Stick with that, 'kay?

[sky-dark.livejournal.com]

p.p.s. hair down is sexiest of all

[gelfling8604.livejournal.com]

Er...in Britain the legal age of consent is 16? And in the movie Edward English?
*nudges*

yanno?

*waggles eyebrows*

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

...
Note to self: Move to other country and then stalk molest prey upon fall in love with younger men.

[chauni.livejournal.com]

How do you think I feel, Jess, dear? I'm older than you are, and this letter applies to me as much as it does you!

[dreadnot.livejournal.com]

And here is where I'm glad that my pedophilic fan urges are toward a 14 year old boy who wass sixty-nine years old by the time I found out about him.

However, I'm having perhaps a bit too much fun with changing his age around to suit my whims at the moment.

[fayearashai.livejournal.com]

Wow, Jess, you never cease to amuse meh. I should try one of those letter thingees once. to envy. About molesting people in public. XD

PS. Better post for Wrath or I'll have to eject you.

[fayearashai.livejournal.com]

Dear Inu-no-Jess-chan, Hentai no Renkinjutsushi,

IMy apologies, but I'm not able to comply with your request. I rather enjoy the attention and have no qualms with being the recipient of pedophilic urges. Bastard Colonel nearly walked into a wall once, it was great.

As a token of my appreciation I present you will a picture my dear friend Winry took a few years back.


You're welcome,

Edward Elric

PS. Formal writing is EVIL.

PPS. What's your opinion on messy buns?

(OOC: Sorry, Jess, I couldn't resist.>.< XDXD)