Premeditated Misconduct

This is part one. There will be more parts, but I needed to start at the beginning, so... *shrugs*

( The word of the Lord came to Jonah, 'Go at once to Nineveh...' But Jonah set out to flee from the presence of the Lord... )

To be continued, eventually.

It's quarter after four in the morning, and even though I've only really been awake for five hours, it's tempting to go back to bed and sleep while it's so deliciously cool.
Maybe I'll try to actually study and catch up on all the reading I need to get done for my class-- I missed one day and I'm already behind probably a thousand pages. Fortunately, most of it just covers the basics of literary criticism, so it'll be a lot of review. If I was feeling really adventurous, I'd rehash some of my Greek or Latin, or maybe start working on my own translation of the New Testament simply because I can.

Blessed be to God for thunderstorms and dropping humidity. *dances*
...OMG, I MUST GO DANCE IN THE RAIN! YES! YES! HOLY CHRIST!

And so I leave you with this:

For now we see as through a glass, darkly; but then we will meet face to face..." I Corinthians 13:12
Scan = Here

*strips and runs outside!*

___
[Edit: Oh, and check out my new, spiffy, pretty, hideous new colorscheme and background. *licks the multiflavored Envy*]

I go to seminary.
Seminary, for those of you who don't know, is a graduate-level theological school for the training of priests, ministers, and/or rabbis. Yes, I am training to become a Unitarian Universalist minister.

While I am sitting through my three-hour long classes about God and the Bible and religion, I find myself strangely inspired. I think of all sorts of dirty, lemony, slashy, cream-filled FMA yaoi stories, plots, and pictures.

Ok! I'd like to repeat that, just in case people missed it.
While my professor is up in front of the class yammering about Paul and Galatians and the Christ of Faith vs Jesus the Man and Augustine and so on, I'm busy scribbling down ideas in my notebooks that involve Edward Elric getting the crap beaten out of him by a pissed and horny Envy, the best way to incorporate Fight Club quotes into Greed/Kim smut fics, and how to finally get Wrath into the dirtier parts of Cat's Cradle.

I am so going to Hell.

(EDIT:
Tonight's new fic ideas--
1) "I'm gonna wash that filthy little mouth of yours out with soap!" Envy/Wrath
2) In Father Figure, it's clear that Envy shifts into Ed-form and jerks-off. Envy!muse feels like telling me more about that.
3) tsukiguujin and I did some playing together, and m'Envy!muse was inspired. He would like to...decorate...Edo.
4) After several hazardous negotiations with Kim!muse, we've reached some mutually satisfactory ideas of what to do to Greedo-san. ...it's a good thing he regenerates, that's all I got to say about that.
5) Just to assure that Hell doesn't reject me, I have considered starting a post-series Wrath/Al. O_o! WTF. Seriously. W. T. F.

Seminary = Where Jess goes to think about porn!

So, I got my American Religious History midterm from Hell back today.
B-
Not too shabby, considering how broad of a topic the question(s) covered, how little interest I had in the answer(s), how little work I did, and the fact that I didn't even know the citation style he wanted us to use.
(And a lot of my mark-downs were minor grammar flaws like tenses and stuff from me rearranging and cutting and then not fixing the format, all of which might have been prevented if I'd have let someone else in my household read it.
Oh, well. I passed, and that is all I wanted from this.)

Tomorrow, I will probably get my much-better Taoism paper back, which I am more interested in.

In the meantime, I have to start working on my evaluation folder 'cause that's relatively important, and I want to find my groove on this bloody piece of fanfic that I started and can't seem to get past page three on.

A friend-- you know who you are-- once commented that she was boggled that I could be happy going to seminary.
I am.

(  Cause I Get Tired of Seeing How Much I Babble, This Is Cut )

Anyone wanna help me write/draw up Unitarian Universalist versions of Chicktracts? XD

http://www.emogame.com/bushgame.html
^
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OMFG... this is so entirely FUBAR. It's educational, and anti-Bush. And that little bitch Paris Hilton killed my Christopher Reeves, dammit. But I got to squash Tom Ridge and the breeding Bushes. That was cool.

_____
I overslept and missed my therapy. Damn. Y'know, I thought about setting my alarm clock last night, and then I thought, Nah... it shouldn't be a problem; I'm actually going to bed at a normal time. Well, it was a problem, as my body decided it needed 12 hours of sleep... weird, because usually I wake up a few times through-out the morning when I sleep past ten or so, but I didn't. I got up at 6-- saw that Jen's light was still on-- went to the bathroom and got some water, and then didn't move until 1:20ish.

Taoism is going to be a wonderful, wonderful class. I'm so glad I'm taking it.
(*gets distracted*) Mmm... Crab chip-breakfast... Crab chips are delicious, and mine!
Right, Taoism. The professor's a Unitarian who wandered in wearing a funky Cat-in-the-Hat/jester's cap combination in blue and yellow. We did some Qi Gong and Tai Chi in class; we have such things as Taoist Cooking and Journey to the West on reserve in the library for us; part of class involves going out for Chinese food twice, and learning about the Tao of tea. Ted's planning on having his acupuncturist in, who needs a translator, because she's actually from China. I love it.

It's funny, too, 'cause I was thinking yesterday that maybe some of my confusion lies in my own dualities. Neither completely human nor animal; acting both canine and feline; both female and male; not hetero- nor homosexual; possessing traits of extroversion and introversion; pnuema and sarx. Does identity matter? At what point do your own contradictions begin to tear you apart?
And in Taoism, that was addressed. (Ok, maybe not that -exactly-, but you know.) Within the Tao, there is no stress between complete opposites; they compliment and fullfull each other. There is no stress. The vinegar may be sour and bitter, but that is exactly what makes it vinegar, and that is a wonderful thing.

So... my therapist-- Xan-- finally decided that I need to take the crazies test and possibly get put on meds.
This is because I told her about my funfunfun week in Ashland; damn, if I had known that's all it would take to get my Zoloft...
I think I frustrate her a lot. I also think she's just trying-- at this point-- to get me to say that I feel "sad" (instead of frustrated/annoyed/angry/disheartened) and to say that I am lonely, which even though I am most of the time, I won't say, though I'll agree with her when she says it.

I got another A- on a Historical paper.
I wish I could be just like Paul-sensei! If I were male, and it legal, I'd marry the man; I love him so damn much-- and I don't even really know why! I absolutely do not understand my infatuation with him, not at all. Although at the potluck on Tuesday before class, I did find out that I'm not the only one. Apparently, he has a small cult following, and no one really gets why they like him so much.
I guess that's what you call charisma!

I also think the married male TA in Historical was hitting on me. !O.o;;; And the chiropractor that's in the class told me that my ribs still hurt-- yeah, still, two weeks after the fact-- because I probably cracked the cartilage. Skippy. And then he told me that he was trying to get rid of some computers; did I want his number?
(Even though he says that they're still Windows 98 and not too much better than the one I've currently got, I'm thinking that I can salvage some of the parts; I mean, what the hell? it's free.)

Speaking of that, I'm browsing computers on the internet, but realize I have no idea what I'm looking for. Could someone give me some stats so that I can have a basis for comparison?
(Like this: "Intel Pentium 4 Processor, 2.8GHz, 512MB RAM, 200GB Hard Drive, 4X DVD+/-RW Drive, Windows XP Home Edition." ...OK, fabulous, and this means what to me?)

I need to stop buying manga.
Like really.
I have about 250$ worth of manga now, and I want MORE! It's like candy; I can't stop buying it. Y'know, I'd say, "OK, I'll just buy the rest of the series I've started, and then stop" but even if I bought the rest I'd just move on to another series. (Like Kenshin, which I've never seen/read but have heard so much about.)
I've totally abandoned my interest in fantasy (except for the Dark Tower series, which is finally finished...but I'm waiting for it to come out in paperback), books on disease, religion...all my favorites...for the junk-food that is manga.
Can't go into Borders; can't go into Borders; can't go into Borders...

And I need to find an art supply store. Like a real one. Although, everytime I ask someone if there's one in the nearby area (no matter where I am), they always direct me to Office Max.
Ok, kids, Office Max is NOT an art supply store. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I know this because, for example, they don't sell linseed oil.
So stop telling me to go there.

Right.
I should go to chapel.
____
EDIT:

HotASLlady is so very, very hot. I ran into her on my way to choir and my heart felt like it literally stopped. It hurt.
I am also very impressed with (I think his name's Brian) the new ASL person that's in Thursday's Historical class (which, since Tom dropped the class we shared on Tuesday night, I more of an excuse to attend, because it's easier for me to get to and from Thurday afternoon's class than to and from Tuesday night's. This means more HotASL-ness. Yippee for me!); he's cute when he smiles, too.

...I'm not really a walking ball of hormones.
Really.

Second week of classes. My 2-page paper written and turned in, my assignments read, my peer groups introduced...
and I'm having the time of my life! ^_^

I love this! I feel so energized and good here, even during my evening class after working all day since seven am, even during my morning class that begins at eight. I get on campus and I don't want to leave; I could happily hang out here all day... in the library, on the lawn. Where ever. I feel great-- focused, aware, attentive. The people are all so friendly, and my professors are some of the best lecture-ers and speakers I have ever heard. Paul Captez (hey look, Jenny, another Paul!) lectured all Tuesday night, and I was not only interested in what he was saying (and how well he said it), but for the first time in my life, I took lots of notes! Eleazar and Chris, my Intro class profs, find the most eloquent yet understandable ways of making and illustrating points, and I can really see why Chris is the Preaching professor. I can't wait to take her class now.

I attend Thursday chapel ever week so far, and plan to continue doing so, and I just joined the choir-- the first choir I've been in since ninth grade, and man, does it feel good! I'm very excited and hope that we are able to preform for chapel service sometime this year. That'd rock my socks.

And with Tom up in Ashland for two to three days, I get the private alone time I so desperately, desperately need, so I'm feeling a lot more sane. Time sans Tom is happy, tail-wagging Inu-no-Jess-chan time.

I don't mean to say that everything is peaches and cream. I mean, I'm still working thirty-plus hours a week at the freakin' bakery; I failed my budget pretty righteously (I'll talk to Judith about that); and now that I've stayed on campus for choir and to write this, I have just witnessed the weather go from post-card perfect to abysmal in ten minutes and I have to walk to my bus stop; I need a new bus pass badly, and don't feel like going downtown to get one; I haven't heard back about my interview; et cetera, et cetera...

However.
I feel stable, sane, happy, healthy. I am meeting new people and learning new things. I am advancing my education, and involving myself in my community. None of these are bad things.

And the one sign language interpreter for the deaf girl in my Intro class is hot.
Really hot.
I could stare at her-- yes, her; you read that right-- all day. Happily. Hornily. With an idiot grin plastered all over my stupid mug.
Hot ASL translator gives me yet another reason to attend class regularly! ^_~

Thank ya, God, and amen.

If I get everything else in and can't be accepted as a full-time student because of my matriculation interview-- or, if I lose my job because I skipped work to do my matriculation interview-- I'm gonna be ungodly pissed off. My transcripts *should* be waiting for me in the mail at home, I have David's letter, I have time tomorrow to do my writing sample... it's that freakin' interview that's the problem.

(If my transcripts aren't waiting at home, Northland's getting a nasty phone call. I didn't pay fifteen extra dollars to get them by next week.)

I feel a little stressed and wish I had more time to write. I'll go home and babble and bring it in tomorrow probably.

I need to run to catch my bus.

Feelin' pretty good. Day off; headin' to the library (with the specific intent of picking up a very smutty sounding novel called The Darker Passions: Dracula. MMmm, published smut. I hope to never again be able to watch Hellsing without giggling). Mmm, library. I love the library.
[EDIT: They didn't have it. Disappointing, but understandable.
I got 22 other books instead, gloriously hogging the express checkout counter.
Fabulous.]

Worked things here at United, and Lo and Behold! I might be accepted as a full-time student with financial aid and everything by mid-September! YIPPEE! All I need is the two letters of recommendation from Carol Shaddy and David Saetre (I've already emailed them about it) and my transcripts, which I can get now because Judith gave me the money to pay back Northland. Provided I get those three things, pass an interview and writing sample (oh, yeah, that's gonna be hard!), and take one more class...I'M IN!
*pant, pant, pant*

[egomaniac hour]
I FUCKING ROCK!
I FUCKING SHOOT AND SCORE AND IT TOOK ME ALL GODDAMN SUMMER BUT I HAVE A FUCKING JOB AND NORTHLAND PAID OFF AND I'M POSITIVE THAT I CAN GET EVERYTHING I NEED FOR UNITED AND THEN I ONLY HAVE TO PAY JUDITH BACK AND MY LOANS WILL GET DEFERRED, AND THERE'S A STUART DAVIS CONCERT AND TRIP TO ASHLAND IN MY FUTURE AND SWIMMING IN THE LAKE AND HARASSING PROFESSORS AND DRINKING SAKE AND WATCHING ANIME AND JENNY'S COOKING, AND EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT SO FUCKING PERFECTLY AND YES, YES, YES! IT'S ORGASMIC-LY GOOD!
[end egomaniac hour]

*looks around suspiciously*
It's too good. I keep waiting for something to go horribly, terribly wrong. ~knock on wood, cross fingers, pray~

I've also got bitten by the writing bug again, and have written another six pages on Blessed Be. It looks as though it might be a real novel... however, I wonder if it works out well in text, considering that it was originally slated as in comic-style. I keep feeling like all I'm doing is describing the action panel-by-panel, page-by-page instead of writing a real story. I could have this impressing because of the dialog-heaviness of the story thus far though.
I'm having problems controlling Gabriel...she desperately, desperately wants to have sex with the Devil, and she's not supposed to want that. I plotted her to have a thing for the Antichrist, but she's extremely resistant to that idea and quite unimpressed with Lucas. *sigh* Unruly wolfling. Bad dog, bad.

Tom continues to drive me crazy, in all the little ways. He waits until the sink is so full as to be unusable to do the dishes, and then it takes him two days to get them all done; he never takes out the trash; he keeps assuming he's told me stuff that he hasn't, and insists that he has even when I've proven he hasn't; he stands around and stares at things; he gets in the way.
When Tom's around, even making a cup of tea can be work.
I like Tom...I just can't wait until I'm not living with him anymore.

I got to go driving the other night. Scary for Tom, fun for me. I like driving Marybeth's car in the dark down windy roads! Heh.

(NOTES:
Angela, I need your address before I can mail you anything! Call me or email me.
Marybeth or Annie: when are you guys coming back to pick up Hotseat and your stuff? Neither Tom nor I can remember if you told either of us...)