lykomancer | Entries tagged with slacking

Okay, here's the situation.

I used to play tons of RPGs. Used to, as in I haven't played a game to completion since maybe 2002. Maybe.

My favorite games included Secret of Evermore, Secret of Mana, Star Ocean, Breath of Fire IV, and Legend of Dragoon-- stuff like that. Oh and the Mario RPG. Jesus.

Now, with my boyfriend and one of my roommates constantly playing video games, I kind of want to play, too...but something different than what they're already obsessing over.

I want something long, involved, and moderately engaging, but I hate the massive amounts of cut-scenes, insanely complicated menus, and impossible puzzles that seem to be the new black in rpgs.

Can anyone suggest some good, sort of old-fashioned-styled rpgs (for PS2) that I might want to try out?

Current Mood: bored
Current Location: at home

Ok, so appearantly I am now almost completely nocturnal and have been for all of this week (which is why I am sitting here posting at 5:30 in the morning).
- I got my American Religious History paper in, and I think I got my Taoism extension in on time, too. I am still trying to decided whether I actually want to take my J(une)-term class (Hebrew Bible short story); I have no money to play for it, pay for the books, or support myself for another month of school vs looking for a job...but I'm not sure I want to drop it, either. I might need a few more credits on my record for this year; I might need a good grade to salvage my GPA, depending on my grades from winter term; it's only a month long, sounds fun, and it's with Carolyn Pressler... I have until the second day of class to drop-- which will be the 7th-- so I have some time to make up my mind yet.

- My weasel is adorable and sleeping somewhere in my room; I'm not sure where. He's so big now, Marybeth! He grew so fast! And I kiss him and he kisses me and it's all like, true love, or some funky shit. I just wish he didn't try to eat my books...

- Looking for a job. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I FIND SOMETHING IN MY FIELD? [/ rant] Sorry; just needed to get that out. I'm a good writer, a great editor; why the hell am I jobless/only able to find work at grocery stores and Wal*Mart? Screw you, universe.

- I think my hair is over an inch and a half long now. ^_^ *ish so happy* I can wear it spiked up or slicked down now.

- I am being so profoundly lazy. I get nothing done, 'cause I SUCK. Mightily. Best Hoover ever built. I couldn't get any more pathetic if I tried. I stay up all night dicking around in Photoshop and role-playing. I haven't even been writing smut, much less doing anything else that might technically be classified as productive.
Speaking of that I have three more icons, two in Greek, 'cause I'm fucking cool like that.
( It IS all Greek to me! )

Hey, sweet! It's raining and my ferret's chewing on my toes. Good morning, world! ^_^

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Lords of Acid-- Let's Get High (And Have Fun!)

I am so burnt out.

I see it; I recognize it; I know it; I own it.
How could I not? It's the exact same behavior every single May, isn't it?... Dragging ass in classes, trying to work up any level of interest, not matter how fascinating I thought it all was to begin with; dragging ass at home-- the last few years it was my dorm room, but no matter; same idea-- loathing having to interact with real people (too much work) and living in a fantasy world through the interface of imagination, avoidance, and the computer screen.
Last year, I did the same damned thing (which is quite clear if you read my journal entries from a year ago-- like these two entries, or this, or this), only last year it was all fanfic-- I wrote "Quintessence of Dust", "More Sinned Against", and "Eclipse" in a less than two weeks; I called it my "hardcore program of absolute avoidance".

I have to write my American Religious History final. The final question is much, much easier than the midterm question was; it only has to be five pages. It only takes me four or five hours to struggle along, forcing and scraping and grinding, to get a five page paper out. I could do this the same way I chose to do my ill-fated Taoism paper; the morning it's due. But I shouldn't and I don't want to. *sigh*
I have to email Ted about said ill-fated Taoism paper, and figure out how to file an extension. *headDESK*
I have to get my integrative notebook at least started. God... *groans, head shaking*
I have to email Chester about getting my backpack back, since I left it in his car the other night. I really want my Brief History of the Human Race back; I was enjoying reading it.
I have to get a fucking job.

All I want, though, is to write fanfics, role-play (and role-play, and role-play, and role-play somemore... talk about avoiding reality! *laughs*), read the stack of books sitting around my room, and play with my ferret.
God, I'm pathetic. Really pathetic.

Oh, and even better. I still have another month of classes, unless I drop my J-term. *shakes head* Hebrew Short Story with Carolyn, three times a day, four days a week. @_@ WTF was I thinking...?
*DED*

Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: Stuart Davis -- Infinity Hymn

But I'm not. I'm wasting time until I get to sing for chapel.
Go me, go!

(I'm gonna do my research after chapel, ok? I'm not being a complete loser.)

Man, so far all the research that I have done just makes me feel terrible and wish that a)free-range organic meat wasn't so damned expensive, b)I had the time, money, and location to hunt my food, or c)I had the balls to go vegetarian (which I probably would consider more if meat-substitute stuff wasn't so expensive). It's really not the concept of meat that I have a problem with-- things die, I eat them-- it's the practice of industrial ranching. *sigh*
Anyway...

I don't think Tom and I are communicating well.
We were walking about moving out of this apartment and into the new one, and I'm like, "OK, we rent a U-Haul, throw everything in it, and we can be completely moved in a day!"
And Tom went, "Well, we can move into the new place whenever we want-- since we have the keys now-- but since we also have this apartment for the entire month of December, we can move slowly, piece by piece, until classes are over."
Me: "But... how are we going to move things piece by piece if we don't have say, a truck? We can't move the furniture in a car, Tom, and I don't see the sense in renting a U-Haul more than once, considering the price."
Tom: "...oh, yeah. I suppose I didn't think of that."
But then a little while later, I heard him on the phone with someone saying that "we're planning on taking our time...you know, moving slowly since there's no reason to rush."
*smashes head into wall*
I told him and told him that I hate living in transition, that I just want to get this done and over with as soon and as quickly as possible. His response to this is to suggest that "one of us can stay at this old apartment, to guard our stuff while we move slowly."
No, Tom, I don't think you get it. I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH QUICKLY AND SOON. (God, Tom's actually acting like a sterotypical man; who'd've thunk it?)
Also, if one person stays behind at the old place for a month, while everyone else is living together in the new, it seems to me that there is a chance for the three to form a little triumvirate, and accidentally "exclude" the fourth who joins later. (You know what I mean?)
*sigh*

Right.
I should probably go sing now.

Oh, yeah... randomness:

You are pansexual.

What is your sexual orientation?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: chillin'

*sigh*

I feel like writing something profound and meaningful and interesting, and I can't think of anything to actually write about. It's some weird mutant form of writer's block.

I guess I'm having one of those small mid-mid-life crises again. Still afraid of graduating.

Afraid isn't a good enough word anymore. Maybe terrified is better. It's hard to tell. I don't let myself think about it often because it's so...consuming. Once I start, I can't stop. Like Lay's potato chips, but not as fattening and more likely to cause insomnia.

When I left high school, it wasn't a problem. I had a place to go, and, at that point, I was still a kid in a lot of ways; if I fell I knew someone would catch me.
But I'm not a kid anymore, and I'm afraid of falling.

I wrote once that I'm not the adult I wanted to be, and dammit, I'm still not. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I such a jerk? Why am I so damned lazy? Childish? Easily distracted? Unmotivated?

I should be writing my paper for History, but I can't think of anything to write about. Usually typing the header jumps-starts something, but not tonight. I'm just staring at my name. The cursor blinks rhythmically.

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm bored, but not doing the work that I should because I can't focus long enough to even figure out how to begin.

Tomorrow's Easter, and I'm half-assed contemplating Auschwitz.

___________
EDIT:
Stupid fuckin' universe. I hate the stars sometimes.

PISCES (Feb 19–Mar 19): You Fish are now swimming in deep waters -- so deep that light doesn't easily reach and the bright colors have faded into shades of gray. Don't get distracted by the depressing nature of the depths; it comes along with the territory. You have some powerful work to do down here. Face your fears. Shine your inner light into the darkness. And slowly return to the surface when you feel ready. Your friends will, reliably, be waiting for you.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Pat Benatar's Best Shots- currently "One Love"

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Premeditated Misconduct

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Entries tagged with slacking

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I should be doing research right now.

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