Down for the Count
May. 22nd, 2005 01:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lykomancerI am so burnt out.
I see it; I recognize it; I know it; I own it.
How could I not? It's the exact same behavior every single May, isn't it?... Dragging ass in classes, trying to work up any level of interest, not matter how fascinating I thought it all was to begin with; dragging ass at home-- the last few years it was my dorm room, but no matter; same idea-- loathing having to interact with real people (too much work) and living in a fantasy world through the interface of imagination, avoidance, and the computer screen.
Last year, I did the same damned thing (which is quite clear if you read my journal entries from a year ago-- like these two entries, or this, or this), only last year it was all fanfic-- I wrote "Quintessence of Dust", "More Sinned Against", and "Eclipse" in a less than two weeks; I called it my "hardcore program of absolute avoidance".
I have to write my American Religious History final. The final question is much, much easier than the midterm question was; it only has to be five pages. It only takes me four or five hours to struggle along, forcing and scraping and grinding, to get a five page paper out. I could do this the same way I chose to do my ill-fated Taoism paper; the morning it's due. But I shouldn't and I don't want to. *sigh*
I have to email Ted about said ill-fated Taoism paper, and figure out how to file an extension. *headDESK*
I have to get my integrative notebook at least started. God... *groans, head shaking*
I have to email Chester about getting my backpack back, since I left it in his car the other night. I really want my Brief History of the Human Race back; I was enjoying reading it.
I have to get a fucking job.
All I want, though, is to write fanfics, role-play (and role-play, and role-play, and role-play somemore... talk about avoiding reality! *laughs*), read the stack of books sitting around my room, and play with my ferret.
God, I'm pathetic. Really pathetic.
Oh, and even better. I still have another month of classes, unless I drop my J-term. *shakes head* Hebrew Short Story with Carolyn, three times a day, four days a week. @_@ WTF was I thinking...?
*DED*
I see it; I recognize it; I know it; I own it.
How could I not? It's the exact same behavior every single May, isn't it?... Dragging ass in classes, trying to work up any level of interest, not matter how fascinating I thought it all was to begin with; dragging ass at home-- the last few years it was my dorm room, but no matter; same idea-- loathing having to interact with real people (too much work) and living in a fantasy world through the interface of imagination, avoidance, and the computer screen.
Last year, I did the same damned thing (which is quite clear if you read my journal entries from a year ago-- like these two entries, or this, or this), only last year it was all fanfic-- I wrote "Quintessence of Dust", "More Sinned Against", and "Eclipse" in a less than two weeks; I called it my "hardcore program of absolute avoidance".
I have to write my American Religious History final. The final question is much, much easier than the midterm question was; it only has to be five pages. It only takes me four or five hours to struggle along, forcing and scraping and grinding, to get a five page paper out. I could do this the same way I chose to do my ill-fated Taoism paper; the morning it's due. But I shouldn't and I don't want to. *sigh*
I have to email Ted about said ill-fated Taoism paper, and figure out how to file an extension. *headDESK*
I have to get my integrative notebook at least started. God... *groans, head shaking*
I have to email Chester about getting my backpack back, since I left it in his car the other night. I really want my Brief History of the Human Race back; I was enjoying reading it.
I have to get a fucking job.
All I want, though, is to write fanfics, role-play (and role-play, and role-play, and role-play somemore... talk about avoiding reality! *laughs*), read the stack of books sitting around my room, and play with my ferret.
God, I'm pathetic. Really pathetic.
Oh, and even better. I still have another month of classes, unless I drop my J-term. *shakes head* Hebrew Short Story with Carolyn, three times a day, four days a week. @_@ WTF was I thinking...?
*DED*
