Why are you doing this, brain?

[lykomancer]

I live in that space between the words love and loss--
I said, Sometimes, it's enough for me just to give my heart away;
what would I do with it, anyway?

Recklessly, giddily,
I have no room within for regret.

I spin around and breathe the scent left on the pillows
and close my eyes,
smiling--

And for one more moment--
one last moment--
I live in that space between the words love and loss,
savoring the air that flows around my tongue as I form the loose liquid syllables,
like a mouthful of fresh, sweet spring rain.

One last moment...

...then I exhale,
let go,
and fall
into pleasant dreams.

Merci d'avoir enchante ma vie.

They never tell you that the greatest sin
of all
is joy.


__
I saw m'company off, the darlings.
How wonderful! How delightful! How I love...
I realized how much I've grown up suddenly; lying there, warm flesh against warm flesh, I thought, Ten years ago-- five years ago-- I'd want them to love me, desperately. I'd break my own heart with my useless, fruitless wanting. Now I lie here and I simply exist with my heart in my mouth, agape filling me until I want to die from the pressure of it.
(Agape, not Eros mind you.)
I think that's a wonderful thing.

It's now six-thirty in the morning.
I have to be up and going for my Sanrio interview by noon.
Why on God's green earth am I still awake?

Comments

[wolfe-guardian.livejournal.com]

Because you're still feeling the aftershock. ;-p

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

Maybe. Maybe I was just feeling awake, because I can actually handle running on less than six hours of sleep when I've had a nap that day unlike some people I could mention.

You have no right to poke fun at me, you little arrogant tease (which is all you are, despite anything else you might have said in the 90's), since-- if I am feeling aftershocks-- it would be all your fault, taking advantage of a my sweet innocent emotions.
Shame, shame on you.
I mean, seriously. What did I do to deserve this kinda treatment, huh?
^_^

[wolfe-guardian.livejournal.com]

The more you insist that I'm nothing but a tease, the more I will be to you no matter what I do. So then, why should I try and stop.

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

Because I deserve better than that.
Because I'm not so much insisting as stating a fact, much along the lines of observing that gravity pulls up toward the center of the earth.
Because I'm cute as hell.
Because you love me.

I'm sure there are probably more reasons you should stop, but those are the best.

[myown-artist.livejournal.com]

did you have group sex without me?

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

Agape NOT Eros!

...no, the bastards teased the living hell out of my for like forty-five minutes, and when I finally managed to make sure that none of my roommates would bother us, they were all like, "Alright! Nighty-night!" and fluffed their pillows and went to sleep. >.<
AHHHGGG!
And fucking Evan... Well, that's a whole 'nother story. *makes unhappy/angry noise*

No, there was no group sex. Just a little group molestation.