From the Desk of Inu-no-Jess:

Dear Edward Elric, state alchemist;

I am requesting that you please stop losing/tearing/taking off your shirt, find and adopt a real pair of pants that aren't quite so form-fitting, and hurry up and turn eighteen.
I am tired of being a pedophile.

Thank you for your attention,
Love,
Inu-no-Jess-chan, Hentai no Renkinjutsushi

P.S. The ponytail is sexier than the braid. You know, just for the record. >.>

Fic Rec

Yo.
'Cause chauni is fucking amazing you will read this. Now. No excuses. Yar!
Of Royalty and Religion

(God, I love having my name associated with really, really good ficcage, even if it's not my own stuff. *licks*)

___
Dear God,

Too. Fucking. Hot.
It should not be over 85 degrees and 50% humidity at midnight. Never.
Crank the AC, dude, ok?

Sometimes I don't like you,
Love and kisses,
Jess, Unitarian Universalist Sister Spikey Mace of Reasoned Discussion

P.S. Where the ever-loving fuck is that Hohenhiem Elric I ordered over a week ago? If I do not receive said package soon, I'm afraid I will start negotiating with competing corporations, and I doubt you want to lose my valuable business.