Never-never Land...without Micheal Jackson.

[lykomancer]

It's just that I feel like one of the Lost Boys.

Daysha's got Carl. Wendy's got Ryan. Jenny's got Owen.

My friends Jackie and Shawn got married out of high school. Heather and Akia got married. Crystal Brown got married. Angela and David are engaged.

Heather had a baby. Wendy wants a baby. Annie now suddenly spouted that she is starting to want to eventually reproduce. Tom too.

Tom has a worthwhile job and dreams for the future. He knows what he's doing. Wendy plans on going back to school. Jenny could do damn near anything she bloody well wants.

And I'm sitting on my ass, half-heartedly studying a dead language that I'll never use while dying my hair an inprobable, unrespectable, and decidedly unnatural color; my ability to plan for the future has a range of a few hours (ok, maybe a day or two, but certainly not years); I'm going to seminary because I felt like it but have no other real reason; I'm not working, not using any of my abilities or talents (and when I do I get little to no recognition for it), and I can't even meet new people. I can't imagine living my entire life with one person. I can't imagine living in a house, not an apartment. I laugh at the idea of me being responsible for anything other than a pet and myself...not because I can't handle it, but because I don't want to.

I don't want to grow up, and so...I'm not.
And I feel sad because everyone else is, and when I comment on it, they reply that they are glad I'm staying the way that I am...but it's selfish of them, because I remind them of who they used to be.

*sigh*
Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Comments

[ozen.livejournal.com]

I really dislike babies, and children are usually only amusing from a distance, and you remind me of who I might like to become. I have no long-term goals except to write well and to travel, and I don't write that well. I have under twenty bucks to my name and am about to take out a loan for something I don't actually *need* in any practical sense. Because I am young and stupid. And I don't know how unimpressed you may be by this, but I actively admire you and would have little objection to becoming half the cool and self-reliant puppy you are.

Fuck marriage, fuck people who think they know what they're doing, and fuck me. 'Cause I swear to god, you're hot. Attitudinally, physically, intellectually hot. Damnit. My opinion is not a good enough reason to feel better about yourself, but I wish you damn well would. You're doing fine. So there.

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

...and fuck me
*sly grin* I see you've gotten into the mango rum again. =^_^=

...Anywho.
It does matter a lot to me that I have such wonderful, wonderful friends, and your opinions and ideas do matter to me. Indeed, nothing matters so much as all of you who love me, and whom I love.
Thank you.