Bisexuality

[lykomancer]

A long time ago, Ed said to me, "Stop saying that you're bi. You're not: you're straight. You just say that you're bi because it's trendy. Stop trying to be something you're not just to feel good about being open-minded. You need to accept that you're straight. And it's okay to be straight, Jess."

The other night, Randy said that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I hadn't had sex with a woman.* Flabbergasted, I asked if this meant that he hadn't been straight when he was a virgin. This went into a (mercifully) brief conversation in which he staunchly held that definitional sexuality hinges on sexual experience...which just floored me. I've never heard anyone say that.



...do other bisexual women have this problem of being told that they cannot define their own sexuality? What's the experience you all have had with this?



*I have had sex with a woman, thank you.

Comments

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Not ignore; I'd just leave them behind.

Your call, man. :)

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

If I "left behind" everyone who occasionally said something stupid to me, I'd have to be a hermit.
Communication is key; how can I expect them to know they've done something wrong or offensive if I don't tell them? And how can I expect them to change their attitudes if they aren't made aware of the problem?

We've grown up in a toxic racist, sexist, hetero-normative culture. I'd rather address the issues head-on than give up on someone just because they, too, are a victim of their upbringing.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

You're a way more patient person than I am. Like I said, your call.