Who wants to be my girl/boy/otherfriend?

I'm gonna start collecting.
I figure, no one wants to seriously have a relationship with me; I can at least have an online harem fun.
SO!
Anyone who wants can be my girl/boy/whateverfriend. (And I'll make you banners or something, if you want. LOL! ^_^)
There are no joiners fees, no obligations, no requirements, no pressure. It doesn't "mean" anything in the serious sense of meaning something; it just something for the fun and silliness of it.
If you don't like that option, you can label your own relationship to me. Wanna be my personal superhero, muse, god, bitch? Go for it. I don't care.

Hi, Good Morning.

I'm about to the point of cheerfully-- dangerously cheerfully-- announcing that I am leaving my apartment to stay at a hotel, and that my roommates have exactly two days to sort out all of their problems with one another and/or move out before I return home. I don't care what happens, so long as it is over and resolved by the 48-hour mark when I walk through my front door again; they can murder each other for all I care.
Just so we're clear on where I stand here.


Sincerely,
Management.

*breathes*

Calming down a bit now; finding that warm zen center somewhere inside that I can cling to and regain some stability. It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters. It will resolve itself in the end, and if it isn't resolved, it isn't the end. It was stupid and selfish of me to get involved as quickly and deeply as I did; it's really none of my business.
I'm done fretting and worrying and being angry. It's not like there's any point to it.

Me oun merimnesete eis the aurion, e gar aurion merimnesei eautes: arketon te emera e kakia autes.
Matthew 6:34

The Master hangs back. That's why he's ahead of the game.
He doesn't hang on to things. That's how he manages to keep them.
He doesn't worry about stuff he can't control. That's why he's got satisfaction.

Tao-Te Ching, Chapter 7, this translation

___
Working on the drabbles I owe. Hopefully, I can post them tonight. ^_^

Woah, baby. I drabble.

For that drabble-meme:

For tsukiguujin, who wanted her OT3:
(Fullmetal Alchemist; Al/Ed/Roy; fluff, WAFF)

( Set As A Seal Upon The Heart )

For anoyo, who wanted some Goku/Gojyo lovin':
(Saiyuki; Goku/Gojyo; humor)

( Last Time )

And for dreadnot, who requested something themed "Sleepless":
(Hellsing; Walter-centric; drama, angstish)

( Haunted )

There we are! I hope this was something like what you were looking for. ^_^