Premeditated Misconduct

I love my favorite fictional characters as much as I love real people.

Maybe even more than real people, because real people have real limitations, real flaws, real time constraints, etc., and fictional people don't. Fictional people are always there for me. I can relive all the best moments anytime I want. There's no past, since anything I've read or watched before can be re-experienced.

They aren't great role models. Their storylines don't necessarily impart meaningful messages. They don't come from high-brow literature or classic film.

In fact, I am starting to realize that I will never stop loving my favorite characters, and even if I could force myself to stop, I wouldn't. It's not that I like these characters. I don't enjoy them when I'm reading or watching and engaged in that story and then forget them and move on. No, no. I LOVE these characters. I love in that stupid, giddy fucked-up brain chemistry kind of love.

And I'm a dork in my love. I favor things that remind me of my favorite characters: scents and colors and plants associated with them. Just seeing their name in print makes me grin. I'll struggle through the worst fanfiction or doujinshi just to be rewarded with a few hints of them, a few lines. (Hell, I'll even read or watch stuff that doesn't even have them in it, just closely related characters who might mention them.)

I still feel vaguely ashamed of this even as I make this public post. This is probably my biggest embarrassment, actually.

I can talk about sex and porn without batting an eyelash. I can dissect as much of my own emotional and psychological state as one is capable of upon one's self. I have no qualms talking religion or politics. I admit to liking furry art.

But man, not fangirling. I can't. I cannot do it around other people.

( First, Naruto fangirling )


Ask Me Anything Meme
Stolen from ze bleed_peroxide

Basically, a free-for-all for you guys to be nosy, or if you're newer, to figure out shit you're not really clear on. I'm enabling the anon option-- as soon as I remember how-- in case you don't feel comfortable asking something "face-to-face", as it were. I'm also posting it with the hopes that it spreads - sometimes with LiveJournal and such the way it is, people change and you're like, "Wait, so what was that? I don't remember. Oh wait, you were different last I hear about ____. Clarify for me, please?" I've certainly picked had those moments.

While there's a list here, I guess it'd be fair to extend it to any particulars you're curious about.

1. Sexual orientation.
2. What I’m really bad at.
3. The one person whose arms I’d like to be in.
4. My best first date.
5. A description of my self-esteem.
6. Who my best friends are.
7. My favorite book.
8. Biggest turn-offs.
9. A description of my best friend.
10. My favorite animal.
11. Someone I miss.
12. The reason behind my last breakup.
13. What I did yesterday.
14. What my greatest achievement is.
15. A description of the person I dislike most.
16. My 5 favorite songs right now.
17. How my last kiss went down.
18. What I find attractive in the preferred sex.
19. All of the pets I’ve ever had.
20. Favorite flavor of ice cream.
21. The one place I want to be right now.
22. The meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.
23. Where I have lived before.
24. I’ll love you if…
25. What are my future plans?
26. An internal conflict I have with myself.
27. What I’m doing tomorrow.
28. What I want to be when I get older.
29. Most embarrassing moment.
30. Two of my insecurities.
31. What I would do if I won the lottery.
32. A description of the boy or girl I like.
33. What I love most about myself.
34. My biggest pet peeves.
35. What bands I’ve seen live.
36. How many kids I want in the future.
37. My idea of a perfect date.
38. What I’m really good at.
39. Most traumatic experience.
40. Where I would like to live.
41. The nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
42. Do I like where I am now?
43. My relationship with my sibling(s).
44. All the pets I’ve ever had.
45. What I can hear right now.
46. My biggest worry currently.
47. Something I’ve wished for repeatedly.
48. My relationship with my parents.
49. Something I should have said a long time ago.
50. What my last text message says.