Throttle my roommate
Sep. 29th, 2004 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lykomancerTom.
Tom, Tom, Tom.
He drives me nuts. Some days I wish I could throttle him.
It's more than the fact that he giggles like an unhinged lunatic, squeals like an anime fangirl on speed, occasionally and unexpectedly grabs my breasts, and sometimes has absolutely no sense of personal boundries-- physical, mental, or emotional (i.e. he just doesn't know when enough is enough!).
It's more than the fact that he never does the dishes spontaneously, or takes out the trash, or cleans any part of the house at all without me nagging.
It's more than the fact that he's so not-together, constantly losing things, misplacing items, forgetting events, and not sure if he even took his medication on any given day.
It isn't even the fact that his driving scares the hell out of me, or that he takes hour-long showers (what in the name of God does he DO in there?), or the fact that he whines every time he has to get up any earlier than 11 when I am usually at work at 8.
It's just plain and simple that I see Tom living an unsustainable lifestyle. He's got to weight over 300 pounds, but he won't cut the oil and butter and chocolate out of his diet; he won't but a bottle of water when he's dehydrated instead of a bottle of soda. He won't even reduce the amount of salt he eats. His shrink said that he could probably go off of his mood stabilizer if he would only lower his sugar intake and stop all caffeine-- simple enough instructions when your mental health (and wallet) is at stake! But he won't. He simply refused.
While giggling.
This is particularly frustrating when I know that most of his other health problems are weight-related-- his arthritis: no kidding he's got arthritis, he's carrying twice the weight he should; his irritable bowel syndrome which he claims will act up if he eats anything remotely healthy, such as salad, but doesn't bother his at all after a greasy-spoon style breakfast because he's "trained" it that way; his poor immune system, which can't function at it's peak when the rest of his body is straining; his insomnia, which troubles obese people more than moderately heavy people... This is a mix of common sense and basic biology-- you know, what Tom minored in college?
I'm not saying that I'm in perfect health, and God knows that I could afford to drop some pounds; HOWEVER. I don't breathe like I just finished a quarter-mile race all of the time, I can walk miles without feeling tired, and 70 degrees with no humidity does not feel unbearably hot to me.
But it's not just his eating habits and completely lack of exercise (the most of which he gets is walking from his car to the apartment), it's also the fact that he's living almost completely off his student loans. LOANS. Loans need to be paid back at some later point, but he doesn't seem to be at all worried about that future point in time. He doesn't even consider working more hours and cutting back on his loans (or saving them for a real emergency, such as the dental surgery he needed in August), which is disturbing to me. He keeps claiming that he's too busy to work more, but some simple calculations revealed that work, sleep, school, homework, travel-time, etc, bite a humongously larger chunk out of my week then they do his, and I'm doing fine. He's got, according to my calculations, almost three full days of spare time once everything else I could think of was factored out.
Ug.
He drives me crazy because he will not take any (even simple, baby steps) toward fixing any of his problems. He will not keep a written monthly budget (like I've started doing) to figure out where his money's going; he will not write down a time schedule or even a list of daily things to do to help manage his time; he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with his weight, much less think of doing anything about it; he won't go out and hang out or try to make friends or join clubs, organizations, or groups to meet new people even though he claims he's so lonely and wants a boyfriend (interestingly, and strangely, he praises me to high heaven whenever I go out and join something or attend an event as though I'm the one that doesn't get out of the house enough).
Man.
By the way, if anyone cares, I am currently simultaneously bitching about Tom, and looking up dirty doujinshi on the seminary computers.
Yeah, I rock.
Heh, I was window shopping dvds in Target yesterday, and I realized they had an anime section. Idly looking over the racks, not really compelled to buy anything for such outrageous prices, I saw that they had the first Hellsing dvd for twenty bucks. And I laughed, came up here to school, downloaded the right codecs, and went home and watched an episode.
Geez, I love you guys.
By the way, Jen, that "Rose in the Wind" Inuyasha amv is really good, and the song is sublime! I have it running through my head almost contantly.
I have the house to myself and that makes me a very happy puppy.
Tom, Tom, Tom.
He drives me nuts. Some days I wish I could throttle him.
It's more than the fact that he giggles like an unhinged lunatic, squeals like an anime fangirl on speed, occasionally and unexpectedly grabs my breasts, and sometimes has absolutely no sense of personal boundries-- physical, mental, or emotional (i.e. he just doesn't know when enough is enough!).
It's more than the fact that he never does the dishes spontaneously, or takes out the trash, or cleans any part of the house at all without me nagging.
It's more than the fact that he's so not-together, constantly losing things, misplacing items, forgetting events, and not sure if he even took his medication on any given day.
It isn't even the fact that his driving scares the hell out of me, or that he takes hour-long showers (what in the name of God does he DO in there?), or the fact that he whines every time he has to get up any earlier than 11 when I am usually at work at 8.
It's just plain and simple that I see Tom living an unsustainable lifestyle. He's got to weight over 300 pounds, but he won't cut the oil and butter and chocolate out of his diet; he won't but a bottle of water when he's dehydrated instead of a bottle of soda. He won't even reduce the amount of salt he eats. His shrink said that he could probably go off of his mood stabilizer if he would only lower his sugar intake and stop all caffeine-- simple enough instructions when your mental health (and wallet) is at stake! But he won't. He simply refused.
While giggling.
This is particularly frustrating when I know that most of his other health problems are weight-related-- his arthritis: no kidding he's got arthritis, he's carrying twice the weight he should; his irritable bowel syndrome which he claims will act up if he eats anything remotely healthy, such as salad, but doesn't bother his at all after a greasy-spoon style breakfast because he's "trained" it that way; his poor immune system, which can't function at it's peak when the rest of his body is straining; his insomnia, which troubles obese people more than moderately heavy people... This is a mix of common sense and basic biology-- you know, what Tom minored in college?
I'm not saying that I'm in perfect health, and God knows that I could afford to drop some pounds; HOWEVER. I don't breathe like I just finished a quarter-mile race all of the time, I can walk miles without feeling tired, and 70 degrees with no humidity does not feel unbearably hot to me.
But it's not just his eating habits and completely lack of exercise (the most of which he gets is walking from his car to the apartment), it's also the fact that he's living almost completely off his student loans. LOANS. Loans need to be paid back at some later point, but he doesn't seem to be at all worried about that future point in time. He doesn't even consider working more hours and cutting back on his loans (or saving them for a real emergency, such as the dental surgery he needed in August), which is disturbing to me. He keeps claiming that he's too busy to work more, but some simple calculations revealed that work, sleep, school, homework, travel-time, etc, bite a humongously larger chunk out of my week then they do his, and I'm doing fine. He's got, according to my calculations, almost three full days of spare time once everything else I could think of was factored out.
Ug.
He drives me crazy because he will not take any (even simple, baby steps) toward fixing any of his problems. He will not keep a written monthly budget (like I've started doing) to figure out where his money's going; he will not write down a time schedule or even a list of daily things to do to help manage his time; he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with his weight, much less think of doing anything about it; he won't go out and hang out or try to make friends or join clubs, organizations, or groups to meet new people even though he claims he's so lonely and wants a boyfriend (interestingly, and strangely, he praises me to high heaven whenever I go out and join something or attend an event as though I'm the one that doesn't get out of the house enough).
Man.
By the way, if anyone cares, I am currently simultaneously bitching about Tom, and looking up dirty doujinshi on the seminary computers.
Yeah, I rock.
Heh, I was window shopping dvds in Target yesterday, and I realized they had an anime section. Idly looking over the racks, not really compelled to buy anything for such outrageous prices, I saw that they had the first Hellsing dvd for twenty bucks. And I laughed, came up here to school, downloaded the right codecs, and went home and watched an episode.
Geez, I love you guys.
By the way, Jen, that "Rose in the Wind" Inuyasha amv is really good, and the song is sublime! I have it running through my head almost contantly.
I have the house to myself and that makes me a very happy puppy.
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 11:12 am (UTC)Well, I think you know my opinion on Tom and his health... >D; (>Miss Health nut<) ::snugs:: It bites, really, almost more than worrying about your own health, seeing someone you care about suffer through that without doing anything about it. :/ (And yes, you obviously do care for him, frustrating and MUST-KILL-NOW as he may be sometimes. ;)) I really don't know what I can say on the matter that would really make a difference, though.. aside from FORCING him to change his habits, nothing sounds like it'll really help in the short term. The only other thing I can thing of is covertly trying to make him change to healthier (physically and mentally) habits. If you have control over the buying of the groceries (and if you don't, try to), then start stomping down and not buying things that are unhealthy. Jab pointed comments if he gets something unhealthy he absolutely doesn't need (like a candy bar) -- try to instill a guilty conscious in his head, even if it's just your voice. Make ABSOLUTELY sure you abide by the same rules yourself. >D;;; Be exemplar.
As for trying to get him to go out more... I'm not really that good at it, myself. ^^; Just try to bait him to go out with you places where out somewhere. Maybe he'll pick it up slowly as a habit, but at least he'll be /going/ places, then.
... If you can stand to be around him more. >D;;
... Wow, I sound quasi-inethical. But that is the hard, and possibly only it seems, way to get him to change before something disasterous happens that'll /force/ it. It isn't something, though, that any of us can be expected to do, and it is something that is very questionable... most of us call it "tough love". ^^; It's the only method I found has worked on people that refuse to listion rationally. >_o; It's either that or just sit back, cross your fingers, and pray that they'll figure it out or be inspired to change, before something really bad happens.
And really, that's often times the only thing we can do. ^^;
::snugs:: Glad you like the Rose in the Wind Inu AMV! I saw at first, was mildly impressed... then heard the lyrics. o_o Oh my GOD, do they fit Kagome. It's so cool. And I love the song in general. *_*
... I'll have to send you the Inu fanart (although here's one) and fiction (like, 15+ pages) I've been working on recently. >D;; It's turning out scarily well. I don't know where the creativity's been hiding.. o.o;
And, judging from that, I presume you got the package. >D;; Sorry about the confusion. I was dead beat and collapsed the night before Tom was going to pick it up, and forgot to put it out by morning. Oops. o_o;; Thus I mailed it. Gomen ne!
Take care, though, and enjoy the anime! I'll try and send more this week. >D
Oh, and fear. F.E.A.R.
I have patterns for hakama and underkimono.
I have ordered a new cheap (Tetsusaiga) katana.
I have professional canine fangs.
I will soon have gold contacts.
... ::practices her "Keh":: >DDDDD
And if you can, you MUST come up for Halloween and join the cosplaying scariness! One of my (very anime and IY addicted, and also named Jess [scary]) advisees is going as Sango (a scarily good one), trying to wheedle Angela to be Kikyo, and I think we half-talked David into being Miroku.
::hangs:: I'll make you a Kouga costume, ookami-chan? ... ::hides:: >D
At the very least, we want to cosplay at an anime con in March that's in Bloomington, MN. :D
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 12:09 pm (UTC)And then I promptly "misplaced" the note and check. >:/ I say misplaced and not lost because I distinctly remember holding it and thinking, "I'm gonna put this in a safe place." I sure did! It's so safe that even I can't find the bloody thing! I've ripped the apartment apart four or five times, went through the trash twice (just in case), and wracked my brains. I have no clue what in the HELL I have done with it.
And thus I feel MONUMENTALLY stupid.
It's driving me crazy. I'm not ever so careless with important items, and I haven't "misplaced" anything this well in a long time... *sigh*
DON'T send another check! First, I was already going to chip in five or so dollars of my own (to make up for the mailing cost), but since this is my idiot fault I'll cover everything and if I find the check while it's still valid I'll let you know.
(3 shrimp? You wanted 3 shrimp? Just three? Not three pounds? I didn't get that one at all; could you clarify?)
Heh-heh. Yes, once I figured out what I needed to make Tom's computer play .ogm files, I also found out that they were .ogm files precisely because they were subbed and dubbed. Sweet. I switch back and and forth, giggling like a fiend. (~By the way, have you noted my tendency to giggle along with crazy blondes in anime? Have you heard me when Quatre goes nuts? Thank God Tom's not home. I can just picture the look on his face if he heard me laughing like a nutcase along with Anderson...and yes, I do sound very, very crazy while doing it.~) I'm so very, very happy.
*GRIN...EVIL GRIN* Hah-hah! Speaking of that, I can't wait to start on my very own Anderson plushie. Life will be good when I can cuddle 'Sander before I go to sleep.
(Shrieking in horror yet? =^_^=)
You wanna dress me up in fur leggings and a fur loincloth!? o_O! Wellllll...as long as I get the tail, too...
Eh. I might be able to. What day is Halloween? I know that that's Reading Week here at the school, so I won't have any classes, and I was planning on asking for some days off so that I could come up and visit, but I don't know if the timing would be right as far as days go.
As for Tom...
*sigh*
I do buy most of the groceries (which I think is a little unfair), but I can't stop him from buying fast food when he's out or from bringing home stuff. Also, just the way we cook and prepare food is very different. I like to bake or roast my meat; Tom likes to fry his or coat it in cream sauce, for example. Another would be the way we slice the block cheese for out sandwiches...his sandwich is more cheese than anything else, and doesn't contain lettuce, whereas mine's a little more balanced.
I don't want to be a nag. I HATE it when people do it to me...when they look over and say, "Honey, you don't need dessert, m'kay?" It drives me crazy. But I don't know how to bring it even up and into conversation otherwise... The other day we agreed on mashed potatoes, but then I realized to my horror that he intended to put an ENTIRE stick of butter in the potatoes, along with milk and and QUARTER CUP of sour cream! I told him flat out that there was no way that he was doing that to my potatoes; I told him that if he wanted to give himself a cardiac arrest that was fine, but not to try to kill me too!
I already tried to get him to stop smoking-- oh, look, another self-destructive habit-- but he couldn't do it, even with me nagging, and I've about given up. He doesn't want to stop, and his main form of defense is making me feel bad for trying to make him stop his bad habits.
I'm sorry I'm bitching so much, but thanks for listening.
:)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 09:57 pm (UTC)Of course, that's from the point of view of a person who's been known to have panic attacks because everything's going okay and she doesn't know how to deal with that. ^^; So you're getting sanity advice from the half-crazy. ^^;
At any rate, I hope things get better between you two...either that or you seriously need to consider finding a new housemate. It's not any better for anyone if you're both unhappy. >_< I'll try giving you a call, one of these nights. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 12:20 pm (UTC)Advice on how to handle the crazies from a person who's been to their native land and survived isn't a bad thing. I guess it comes down to, "How do I bring this up? How do I make him see what I see without being a complete asshole?" I barely know how to point out to him that I'm bustin' my ass working over thirty hours a week and pulling two classes (and choir), while he's only working maybe 15 hours a week, and that even though I am working so much, I can't quite pay all the bills I need to pay still and that I wish he'd help out a bit more by taking on some of the electric (even though he's got more bills that me, what with debt consolidation and car payment and insurance and the phone bill, plus paying his share of rent-- even though he's not there a third of the month) and groceries (ditto).) I'm exasperated. I don't know how to make ends meet, and I never get food at work (even when I'm hungry or thirsty), I don't blow my money on books like I want, and I see Tom coming home with yet another #$&*!ing bottle of Pepsi or an empty styrofoam coffeecup and it drives me crazy. I wish I could get him to write down all the money he "wastes" this way, just so he could see how much it adds up to.
*throws her hands up*
Yeah. I dunno.
I'm sorry I'm taking it out on you guys.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 12:52 pm (UTC)I'll think about that and post later -- I'm about to be late for a meeting, or I would do it now. >_< But I think I know where he's coming from, and where you're coming from, so maybe I'll be able to come up with something helpful. I hope so. :)