Blah.

I don't know if this is physical depression with none of the mental static or some sub-symptomatic infection I'm fighting off, or what, but I feel like re-heated sludge.

I'm not actually sick. I have a little bit of nasal drain and a slight moderate nasty cough despite having only smoked one cigarette in over a week, but that's not real sickness. What I do have is the body-weary, perpetually exhausted feeling of generalized malaise. All I want to do is sleep-- or at least lay down and not move. I just feel icky.

I'm trying to decide if I'm going to work tonight or not.
On one hand, I'm not actually sick; I should save my sick days for when I am actually sick; this will be the second time I've called in in four months*; it's a short shift, and I've just had two days off and I have tomorrow off too.
On the other hand, I feel dumb and unfocused and exhausted and pretty lousey, and and if I call in today, they might think that I've been sick for a few days because they haven't seen me**. (It looks bad to call in sick and then turn up at work the next day looking fine.)


EDIT: Never mind. I think I may be in the process of losing the fight against some illness. In under an hour, my cough as progressed from "yeah, I have one" to being bad enough to make me retch and vomit up mucus and the few sips of tea I'd taken, and I'm starting to feel something suspiciously like chills. -_-
Okay, then.



* The first time was after I fell three times on my way to the bus stop and had wrenched my hip and smashed my head and knee on concrete. I was filthy, wet, bleeding, and in pain. Yeah, I skipped work that day.

** Two of my managers had the flu last week-- really nasty flu. My immune system might be trying to deal with exposure to that; I don't know. But no one would be surprised if I called in since there's been so much sickness going around.