How I'm feeling currently

- I'm in the kind of mood to write a new story or draw up a doujinshi or something like that. Maybe simply pick up a good fantasy novel or get sucked back into a good anime. I want to take a vacation from this reality into one fast-paced, exciting, nostalgic, terrible and wonderful and real and full of people I fall in love with and who will never love me because they are simply characters. I want to let my brain accumulate all sorts of new material, make new connections, stew in a marinade for a few days, and then come back to this world with a better sense of what the hell is going on.
I'd simply rewatch all of FMA (or any of the thirteen other series I've been hoarding on my hard drive), but I'm holding out until I lose my internet either through moving or through not being able to pay the bill.

- Talking to chauni last night made me realize how muh I miss Ashland. The soothing flow of mellow days, the calm ease that seems to fill the very air throughout the seasons, from the cool bite of autumn until the blaze of apathy-inducing heat at the end of summer. The rustle of the aspens and maples in the wind off the Lake. The slanting evening sunlight laying gold against the side of Wheeler Hall. The flat, deep blue ceiling of the sky. God, I could cry just thinking about it.

- I am fucking depressed. Even taking my meds like I'm supposed to, like a good girl. It's not enough. I'm still irrationally bitchy, cranky, tired, stressed, despairing, and hopeless. I hate you, dysfunctional brain chemistry. I want to stop sucking ass, so you better start recalibrating ASAP. This is not a suggestion; this is an order.

- I want to make more icons, but I struggle coming up with text. Amuse me and suggest something; maybe I'll use it. I really like icon-making; I'm just not that clever at matching an image with text. -_-;; I do think I'm getting pretty good at this particular little party-trick though, and I'm learning a lot about PS. I'll take requests, if anyone's actually interested.

- Speaking of FMA, Edward Elric has started to take over my life. I spend far too much of my time thinking about this made-up, not-real person, and it makes feel me sad and pathetic.
I'm not sure if I want an Ed in my life, or if I want to be Ed. Does the distinction matter?
...yeah, I think it does. I only wish I knew which one it was. (Ok, I don't mean that. Sitting back and thinking about it more makes me cringe at what either option might say about me. Dammit, I am not envious of a fictional character's personality traits! That's just fucking silly!)

- I want to go swimming and horseback riding. This is probably related to my Ashland-longings. I also want to actually feel happy, and not just tired, bored, amused, entertained, etc, etc... but that can be filed with the "I'm fucking depressed" rant.

Right. I'm going to go to set my alarm to get me up in the early afternoon and get my ass to bed.

Random FMA fangirling -_-;;

So, lacking anything else to do earlier this evening, I watched some of the later episodes of FMA (since I've only seen from about ep. 35+ once), and I realized something.
Kimbley drives something like 1/3 to 3/4 of the plot of the entire series. Maybe this is just something that never occurred to me before because I was much more focused on the other characters and actions when I finally say the whole show from alpha to omega, but...

( Zolfy observations-- SPOILERTASTIC )

I think, just for that reason alone, Kimmy needs more love. *noddles*
Ok, that, and because he's the only man who can make a mullet cool. *dies laughing*