Loveless Fic
Nov. 19th, 2005 05:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lykomancerTitle: Experiential: Un Me Analgia
Pairing: Youji/Natsuo
Words: ~800
Genre: Angst, drama
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to ep 10
Warnings: None, really.
Notes: Because Zero needs more love. First time writing for Loveless, but I love this pairing too much not to contribute at least this.
We are Zero, and we do not know the experience of pain.
It had been an advantage, they had grown up thinking, encouraged by Professor Nagisa, to avoid the unpleasantness of pain-- they were unbothered by the usual scrapes and bruises that plagued all other children, watching in fascination as the blood welled to the surface, visible in dark clouds under pale skin, and which sometimes spilled out, rich and thick; and in battle, they were not distracted by concerns for their own flesh, disarming and dismaying their opponents by laughing in the face of spells that should have had them on their knees screaming in agony.
They fought arrogantly, grinning cocky little sidesaddle grins, snickering as they watched their enemies uselessly try spell after spell and slowly become more weary and desperate, and then, when the psychological warfare and futile fighting had taken its toll, they might play with their prey a little more with spells and more physical toys, testing the limits of what others could endure, before defeating them utterly and without fail.
They were bound, one to the other, like all other pairs of Fighters and Sacrifices, by their shared name-- a name of nothingness which betrayed their origins, their shared altered genetics, the nervous systems that could comprehend pressure and physical pleasure...but not pain. They were linked by what they held in mutuality with one another to the exclusion of everyone else in the whole wide world, and they understood one another as no one else ever could. They lived and breathed together, tasting this sweet world and savoring every bite, the juice of it coating their smiling lips and making their hands sticky; they enjoyed their painless lives and they enjoyed one another, constantly, inseparably-- Zero was two that were, in fact, one.
We are Zero, and we do not know the experience of pain.
But Youji and Natsuo were not as unique as they'd been lead to believe, as they learned as they stood on the stairs in the cold dripping rain, facing the other Sacrifice and her Fighter and their calm declaration that they, too, were Zero; this was a revelation they had never even dreamed of... Their name was their own and no one else's! That is how they knew who and what they were, to whom each other belonged; they shared a name and mark-- that was clear and irrefutable evidence that Youji was for Natsuo and Natsuo for Youji.
But that certainty was unraveled. Every day, there was more bewildering fallacies showed in the universe's previously neat, orderly logic: Loveless and Beloved fighting together though one had not yet found his own Fighter and the other should have been dead and in the grave with his Sacrifice, and now here, another pair before them that shared the same name as they did.
If things had been different...would they have had a different Fighter, a different Sacrifice, and grown just as attached to that other? Would they have fought against each other like this instead of side by side in concert? Would their hearts have beat to a different rhythm?
...answerless, the voices of their souls fell into the void of silence like the drops of rain that fell from the heavens, crying out for resolution.
The battle had to be fought, not because they were enemies, but for the right to exist and recognition of those to whom the real name of Zero belonged.
We are Zero, and we do not know the experience of pain.
It happened so fast, a whirlwind of sudden revelation that escalated into confrontation in few words, and it seemed to Natsuo that the other Fighter had cast no spells at all, but even quicker than the fight had began it had ended with Youji's silent boneless collapse to the wet ground, falling as though stricken dead instantaneously.
Swift and nearly silent, and then there was nothing but the unheard patter of rain and Youji, his beautiful Sacrifice, his beloved partner, puddled on the hard concrete, and then something broke through Natsuo's stunned senses, something he'd never before known, and he howled his heartbreak to the gray skies.
Though his Sacrifice took all of the damage, it was Natsuo who received the intimate kiss of pain for the first time, raking claws of fear and loss digging deep into his breast and stealing away the arrogant innocence of the untouched and untouchable.
The experience of pain was more than spilled blood, more than electrical signals racing along healthy nerves to a brain that would never acknowledge the message. Pain was fear; pain was helplessness; pain was loss that cut deeper and crueler than any blade or spell ever could.
We are Zero, but we are still human.
Crossposted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
youjixnatsuo and loveless_fics
__
Pairing: Youji/Natsuo
Words: ~800
Genre: Angst, drama
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to ep 10
Warnings: None, really.
Notes: Because Zero needs more love. First time writing for Loveless, but I love this pairing too much not to contribute at least this.
We are Zero, and we do not know the experience of pain.
It had been an advantage, they had grown up thinking, encouraged by Professor Nagisa, to avoid the unpleasantness of pain-- they were unbothered by the usual scrapes and bruises that plagued all other children, watching in fascination as the blood welled to the surface, visible in dark clouds under pale skin, and which sometimes spilled out, rich and thick; and in battle, they were not distracted by concerns for their own flesh, disarming and dismaying their opponents by laughing in the face of spells that should have had them on their knees screaming in agony.
They fought arrogantly, grinning cocky little sidesaddle grins, snickering as they watched their enemies uselessly try spell after spell and slowly become more weary and desperate, and then, when the psychological warfare and futile fighting had taken its toll, they might play with their prey a little more with spells and more physical toys, testing the limits of what others could endure, before defeating them utterly and without fail.
They were bound, one to the other, like all other pairs of Fighters and Sacrifices, by their shared name-- a name of nothingness which betrayed their origins, their shared altered genetics, the nervous systems that could comprehend pressure and physical pleasure...but not pain. They were linked by what they held in mutuality with one another to the exclusion of everyone else in the whole wide world, and they understood one another as no one else ever could. They lived and breathed together, tasting this sweet world and savoring every bite, the juice of it coating their smiling lips and making their hands sticky; they enjoyed their painless lives and they enjoyed one another, constantly, inseparably-- Zero was two that were, in fact, one.
We are Zero, and we do not know the experience of pain.
But Youji and Natsuo were not as unique as they'd been lead to believe, as they learned as they stood on the stairs in the cold dripping rain, facing the other Sacrifice and her Fighter and their calm declaration that they, too, were Zero; this was a revelation they had never even dreamed of... Their name was their own and no one else's! That is how they knew who and what they were, to whom each other belonged; they shared a name and mark-- that was clear and irrefutable evidence that Youji was for Natsuo and Natsuo for Youji.
But that certainty was unraveled. Every day, there was more bewildering fallacies showed in the universe's previously neat, orderly logic: Loveless and Beloved fighting together though one had not yet found his own Fighter and the other should have been dead and in the grave with his Sacrifice, and now here, another pair before them that shared the same name as they did.
If things had been different...would they have had a different Fighter, a different Sacrifice, and grown just as attached to that other? Would they have fought against each other like this instead of side by side in concert? Would their hearts have beat to a different rhythm?
...answerless, the voices of their souls fell into the void of silence like the drops of rain that fell from the heavens, crying out for resolution.
The battle had to be fought, not because they were enemies, but for the right to exist and recognition of those to whom the real name of Zero belonged.
We are Zero, and we do not know the experience of pain.
It happened so fast, a whirlwind of sudden revelation that escalated into confrontation in few words, and it seemed to Natsuo that the other Fighter had cast no spells at all, but even quicker than the fight had began it had ended with Youji's silent boneless collapse to the wet ground, falling as though stricken dead instantaneously.
Swift and nearly silent, and then there was nothing but the unheard patter of rain and Youji, his beautiful Sacrifice, his beloved partner, puddled on the hard concrete, and then something broke through Natsuo's stunned senses, something he'd never before known, and he howled his heartbreak to the gray skies.
Though his Sacrifice took all of the damage, it was Natsuo who received the intimate kiss of pain for the first time, raking claws of fear and loss digging deep into his breast and stealing away the arrogant innocence of the untouched and untouchable.
The experience of pain was more than spilled blood, more than electrical signals racing along healthy nerves to a brain that would never acknowledge the message. Pain was fear; pain was helplessness; pain was loss that cut deeper and crueler than any blade or spell ever could.
We are Zero, but we are still human.
Crossposted to
youjixnatsuo and loveless_fics__
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-11-21 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-05 12:27 am (UTC)Painful, and sorrowed and a fantastic representation of male Zero.
I am in awe.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-28 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-25 07:47 am (UTC)This is so fantastic! Great writing style, i luvv it!
I also really liked the italicized phrases yew put in it. Very. . .Unique, i would say.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-28 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-03 04:02 am (UTC)Also: Thank you! I appreciate the kind words.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-04 05:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-02 01:48 am (UTC)