(no subject)

Hm. I'm watching this fandom_lounge post about the live-action Avatar movie devolve into race debate.
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Man, the last few days...

A long story short: I did a dumb, pretended to buy something online, and when the page indicated I was to click a button, I did...and then got charged $300.

I tried to cancel the order, but the only way I could do that was by refusing the FedEx guy when the thing actually arrived.

So I asked Ed to float me a loan and he did, and then this morning I told the nice FedEx man 'no, thank you', and everything should be okay.


...*sighs*


Still.

Still.

I'm so fucking tired of my bank account being screwed up.
I'm tired of not having enough money.
I'm tired of being turned down for every job I apply to.
I'm tired of going to work and being bored or dealing with stupid people.
I'm tired of being here, and I'm really tired of being alive.

Everything's the same, day in and day out. Same nothingness. The same conversations, the same boredom, the same wastes of time, the same problems.

I want to run away so badly. I mean, really run away. Like pack up a backpack and withdraw what money I do have and just...go someplace else. Anywhere. It doesn't matter.

I want to quit my job and move. I want to go away. I want to try to start over again. I'm failing at being anything or anyone worthwhile. I need something to change or I'm going to break. I'm just so tired.