Motivated for once

I figured out what I want to do:
I want to go to veterinary school.

I really want it.

I could point all my interest and innate skill in biology and chemistry toward a goal. I'd get to work with animals. I'd finally be doing something meaningful.

...unfortunately for me, all my student loans have defaulted out from under me, wrecking my credit and pretty much permanently ending my ability to get more aid.

Still, I can get hired at a vet's office as a desk jockey or intern. Jinya's done it before; so has my friend Kris. Even getting my foot in the door is a good idea.

I can study books in my free time. Nothing's stopping me from educating myself.

I can volunteer at a wildlife rehabilitation center a few nights a week and get some experience, too.


Jinya wants to start taking martial arts and/or belly dancing classes. We found a website for a feminist eclectic martial arts studio off of Lake Street, and we've been talking about attending come September.


There's a small space between the neighbor's fence and the side of our house, and I'm thinking about turning it into a compost bin. I don't think our landlady would notice it, and then I could have fresh compost for an hanging herb garden by next spring. I've been researching seed exchanges already.


I'm just so tired of being a fucking cog. I'm sick to death of ignorance and shallowness, pop culture and trends and monoculture, hybrid vegetables, genetic engineering, and in vitro fertilization.

I want something that matters. I want to be part of the solution, instead of just bitching about the problem and feeling crushed under the system. I want to dig in the dirt, feed baby squirrels, and grow my own organic garlic. I want to know that I can fight, and dance, and spoil a story telling it. I want to make my own paper and build my own kites. I want to live for a while.