I wish the real world would just leave me alone.

Things around here run on a wave.
They are down, down, down, then gradually pull up, up, up, and then sink back down, down, down. Lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseum.

When we have money, things are good.
As long as Jess doesn't fuck up, it's all fine.
Realistically, I wonder if it's related to the cycling hormones in the house.

Things don't center around me. I know that. But it certainly is far from helpful when I blow my top at something, or camp out in my room refusing to acknowledge anything outside of it, or when-- like now-- I've stretched my limit on my cash.

Sorry. I'm still a little irked at Tom for chastising me for suddenly announcing that I'm running low, and telling me that I shouldn't have spent money on the few really pricey things I bought lately.
I'm the one who paid for his January rent.
I'm the one who paid to get Wendy's car out of the garage.
I'm the one who gave Wendy gas and lunch money to get to work and not starve while there.
I'm the one who has bought the last like, four or five really BIG grocery purchases over a hundred dollars.
I'm the one who offered-- though it didn't need to be followed through on-- to pay for Jen's passport.
Who's paid for the electric and internet bills since we moved in here (excepting the start-up fee for the 'net-- that was Jen)? Me, 'cause I said I would.

I'm not trying to sound like a martyr.
I'm just trying to put things in perspective.
After all that other stuff, I refuse to feel bad about buying myself a pet. Or a few other things that make me happy. I think that it is ok of me to dare to spend money on stuff solely for Jess sometimes, in addition to all the cash I've kept throwing into the household budget to keep it lubed and smooth.

Grr!

Ok, I'm done being cranky now.

I had another idea at school.

So.
I got this wonderful, horrible, squickeriffic FMA fic idea while on the bus today, and then I thought... You know, the FMA fandom's pretty kinky, y'know? What they need is a community-- 'cause there aren't enough FMA communities!-- that is specifically interested in fic and art that involves fetishes, from common handcuffs to hardcore vorephilia and snuff-level stuff-- anything non-vanilla and a little quirky.
While I do know that there are too many FMA comms, and that I don't need to add to the problem, I am still intrigued by this idea of mine, so humor me and tell me whatcha think:




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