lykomancer: (WOO-HOO I'm NAKED!)
It's quarter after four in the morning, and even though I've only really been awake for five hours, it's tempting to go back to bed and sleep while it's so deliciously cool.
Maybe I'll try to actually study and catch up on all the reading I need to get done for my class-- I missed one day and I'm already behind probably a thousand pages. Fortunately, most of it just covers the basics of literary criticism, so it'll be a lot of review. If I was feeling really adventurous, I'd rehash some of my Greek or Latin, or maybe start working on my own translation of the New Testament simply because I can.

Blessed be to God for thunderstorms and dropping humidity. *dances*

And so I leave you with this:

For now we see as through a glass, darkly; but then we will meet face to face..." I Corinthians 13:12
Scan = Here

*strips and runs outside!*

[Edit: Oh, and check out my new, spiffy, pretty, hideous new colorscheme and background. *licks the multiflavored Envy*]
lykomancer: (Going Nowhere Really Fast)'s not getting any better the longer I stay awake.

Not only am I irritated at all the stuff I mentioned this "morning", I am also irked because my face is breaking out to high hell and I don't know why.

Also, the people doing repairs in the downstairs apartment apparently turned off the water for the building, and so there is no showering, dish-washing, toilet-flushing, etc until they choose to turn it back on. Again, THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH for telling us that you'd be shutting off our water! No, you're right, I didn't want to shower today!

And then I checked my old hotmail account. Most of my email has been successfully rerouted to my gmail box, but I still check the old addy about once a week. Good thing I did!
*headDESK* The Taoism final that I was so sure was only five pages...? Yeah, the professor emailed me, wondering where my brain was, 'cause it was supposed to be 10-12. He wants to know if I am requesting a 30-day extension, or if this is my whole work and I am willing to accept being docked half my grade.
AAGHGHGHGH! *kills something*

I so do not need this shit! >.


May. 17th, 2005 03:22 pm
lykomancer: (WOO-HOO I'm NAKED!)
I win!

Bedtime: ~3:30 am
Woke up: ~11:00 am
Sat down to start final: 11:30 am
Finished five-page final, complete with works cited: 2:15
Don't have to leave for class until: 4:15

The thing that makes this really funny is how I write. Not only did I wait until the morning it was due to begin the paper, but I also had to contend with my Mustang-esque tendency to avoid work at all humanly possible costs. Ok, I may not wash the windows, but while I was "writing" the bed got made, the bookshelf reorganized, two cups of tea made and drunk, my community-in-the-works got tweaked a bit (I hate you with a profound and deathless hatred, Photoshop); I mused over some Greek, ate breakfast, played with my ferret, and got lost wandering the internet.
Honestly, I don't know how anything gets finished. XD
And even better! I barely had any idea what I was going to be writing about, even as I worked on it. I didn't have a clear idea of where my ramblings were going until the last paragraph!, when suddenly everything fell into place all crystal-clear, and I knew how to wrap up all the loose ends in my paper-- said ends consisting of Christianity, Jesus, Western and Chinese alchemy, Taoism, and the search for immortality.
It's not even that bad of a paper...

Told y'all I'd get it done, ne?
lykomancer: (Approaching Deadlines!)
It occurs to me how little I actually know about running a community and setting things up. Heh.
That's ok. It'll give me plenty of interesting stuff to do this week, figuring all that out. Mostly right now, I am concerned with making it look pretty. I don't know why; I doubt anyone will care, but...

If anyone wants to help mod this thing, drop me a line. I'm sure other people have a better idea of what's going on than I do.

Jeeeeesus wept. My Taoism final essay is due in 15 hours, and I haven't even started the fucker. I can say "procrastination"; can you?
Eh. *shrugs* It'll get done. Though I've never pushed it this far, I am familiar enough with my pattern of waiting until the last minute to get stuff done, and I know that I always do get it done.
(Topic: A comparison of immortality in Taoism and "immortality" found in the New Testament.)
Get up and do it in the morning.

And then I have my New Testament final on Thursday, and another $*%*&ing! five to seven pages for Paul-sensei on Monday... and then the semester is done. Blissfully, ecstatically done.

lykomancer: (Welcome to the Jungle)
Goodie, goodie! A day completely off, and after getting a great deal of sleep...
(random note: Just before I went to bed last night, I read [profile] devils_devotion's delicious fic, A Spoonful of Sugar, and I had this fucked-up dream about a bunch of talking ferrets in my room reading DemiDevi's fics, bouncing and warbling happily over them, and demanding to know why I wasn't writing more Roy/Ed. O_o!;;; My soul is possessed by talking yaoi-obsessed weasels...
Is anyone out there really surprised?)
...I woke up with the determination to get some stuff done today.

1. I went downtown and checked my bank balance. And then I checked it again. And then I talked to the people behind the counter. And then I heaved a huge sigh of relief. I had enough for rent, a new bus pass, and for that Tsuki's check wouldn't bounce, which covered all the really important shit for now. Score, score, fuckin' a-right score.
That's a huge burden off of me for right now.

2. I organized all my paperwork and assignments and stuff from school, tossing what I didn't need, and filing what I did want to keep away orderly. Unearthed next year's class registration form, the evaluation sheets I still need to fill out, and my New Testament final study guide. I looked over my long-neglected syllabi. Hey, lookie, lookie! My Spiritual Memoir final project is due tomorrow. *nervous laughter* It's a good thing I bullshit well, eh?

3. Straightened up my room and padded my bed more with the battered futon mattress Wendy doesn't need anymore since her boyfriend's mom gave her a real bed. ^_^ Sweeeeeeeeet.

4. Reread and edited all the role-play logs I had saved, figured out a timeline for at least what I have, and also realized a few things. XD
Mmmm... angst! It's what's for dinner.
One of my roommate's also found and DLed "Heartache Tonight" for me, scratching an itch for that song that I've had for a while; man, do the lyrics ever go nicely with the shit I've been rping lately, too! *giggles*

So, having done all of that, there are few things left that must get done, but that's not too bad.
I need to write more on Blessed Be for Memoir, and I should read the book we're supposed to discuss tomorrow in class, but that's it.
Happy day!
lykomancer: (Going Nowhere Really Fast)
I am having some really stupid moments.

First, not realizing my back account was so low that I'm scrabbling for rent, and then remembering the newspaper bill, my therapy bills, the internet bill, my summer class bill, my OUTRAGEOUS book bill at the school store, the money I promised Tsuki...

And then I lost my #%&@!ing bus pass. A forty-five dollar one. That still had over twenty-five dollars left on it. While normally this doesn't bother me too much-- I figure, someone else will find it, and it goes into the pool of Good Bus Karma-- but right now, it's something else I need to spend money on, 'cause otherwise I can't get anywhere. >.<

I have a presentation today in the first hour of class. I have...a few notes. Mostly, I'm hoping to wing it and not fuck up too bad. My only priority is not failing. Other than that... *shrugs* Meh.
So I was half-assed thinking about that this afternoon.
I was also talking with a few people on IM, getting wrapped up in conversations and barely glancing at the clock, knowing I was going to run a bit late, and that I'd be cutting it close today.
I was also dipping into a new piece of fanfic that is flowing so smoothly, so loverly...

It goes to figure that when I finally get to my bus stop, I realize that I forgot the money to pay!

Fortunately for me, Wendy is still home and can give me a ride up to school before class/she goes to work, but...DAMN! I lost my bus pass, can't afford to get a new one, barely know what I'm presenting on, ran late for my bus, can't catch it 'cause I didn't have a quarter on me, and am now worried about running late for my presentation! GRR!

*shakes fist at sky, feeling very Old Testament*
God damn you, God!

I got to school with plenty of time. *relief* So, what do I do before my presentation? Review, reread, organize, prepare?
...Hell, no! I snipe RP journal comments and get hit on by the really cute black guy in the computer labs! Go, responsible adult, go!
lykomancer: (This moment is...)
No, that's not true. I just wanted to quote Stuart Davis.

I didn't think there was any way I'd be able to get to sleep last night so early (early = 1am ish), since I was well on my way to being nocturnal and had grabbed a restless three hours after church yesterday, but appearantly I was more tired than I thought I was. I was able to pass out even through my roommates talking and doing stuff, the hall light being on, and Destruct-O-Matic digging through his food dish in an orgy of weasely pleasure.

So I got to meet Tom's boyfriend.
*rolling laughing*
The man's a few fortune cookies short of a Chinese buffet, if ya follow me. This isn't a problem, per say, it's just that he's...loud about it, open, talkative. Egomanical in a friendly way. He wants to tell you about everything he knows and can do and so on.
I only talked with him for about twenty minutes-- mmm, maybe a bit more-- and let's see... he says he's fluent in fifteen languages (though whether this includes or discludes the twelve dialects of Japanese he speaks, I'm not sure) and that he once chopped off a mugger's leg with a 400 pound sword; periodically spoke to the cat (Akuma) in this weird, Slavic-sounding language, "telling" him stuff; informed me that Akuma was more intelligent than me; and told me that I was getting too much calcium in my diet and that it was going to result in pancreatic problems unless I balanced my diet.
I couldn't take it, so I returned to my room to role-play. Much saner.

I really need to do at least some of the reading for my American Religious Histories class. -_-;; And I have to remember that I'm presenting next week and get working on that appropriately. I missed all my classes last week but one. Bad Jess! Bad!


Apr. 18th, 2005 05:26 pm
lykomancer: (Squee!)
So, I got my American Religious History midterm from Hell back today.
Not too shabby, considering how broad of a topic the question(s) covered, how little interest I had in the answer(s), how little work I did, and the fact that I didn't even know the citation style he wanted us to use.
(And a lot of my mark-downs were minor grammar flaws like tenses and stuff from me rearranging and cutting and then not fixing the format, all of which might have been prevented if I'd have let someone else in my household read it.
Oh, well. I passed, and that is all I wanted from this.)

Tomorrow, I will probably get my much-better Taoism paper back, which I am more interested in.

In the meantime, I have to start working on my evaluation folder 'cause that's relatively important, and I want to find my groove on this bloody piece of fanfic that I started and can't seem to get past page three on.
lykomancer: (We're all mad here)
Ok, lessee here.

I got all of my sexy, sexy outfit except the proper pair of panties, and, since everyone will be able to see them, that is kind of an important element! I have no worries though, leaving everything-- lace, flounces, ruffles, bows and all-- in competent hands.

I also have two midterm essays to write. The Taoism one that's due next Tuesday is manageable. The one that's due on Monday is... Well, it's a bit of a horror, to be honest. It supposed to be seven pages or less, and documented in Chicago style, for American Religious History.

This is the question. Yes, that's singular. )

And that, children, is a graduate level midterm essay question. *brainmelt*

Speaking of religion, several people have asked me about writing an essay about the religious/spiritual/mythological symbolism in Fullmetal Alchemist.
Dude. It's so not happening.
That's like a thesis length paper, right there. I mean, that's going off on the Western alchemical significance of the Nicholas Flamel and the Philosopher's Stone and connecting that to the Old Testament stories of Moses and the crucified serpent, which leads to angelology and the New Testament sacrifice of Christ, not to mention Taoist alchemy and the "Mysterious Gate" or the esoteric meanings of "Shambhala."
Maybe I'll get to it this summer, but I doubt it.

If you get any more FMA stuff from me, it will be in the form of fics. Usually dark, angsty, traumatizing smutfics. Just be happy with that.

Kinda tired. Might crash out early tonight and then get cracking on that essay in the morning. That takes priority over everything else right now. (DAMN YOU, Paul-sensei! Don't you know I'd rather be writing smut!?
...doesn't that sound like a slogan for a button or a bumper sticker? "I'd Rather Be Writing Smut." Heh.)

Right. To bed with me and my Ebola tea then.
lykomancer: (This moment is...)
Soul-achingly, mind-meltingly beautiful.

I'm sitting here with my windows wide, wide open-- and they have been all day-- sucking on a roast turkey wingbone and a Dove milk chocolate egg. The salty-savory and creamy sweet textures and flavors complement each other so well it makes my mouth water nonstop, and I'm going to wash it all down with a swallow of hot, slightly bitter black tea.
Yes, yes, it's tasty, beautifully tasty.

When Wendy and I were out driving around, we passed an outdoor thermometer that read "57". Fifty-seven degrees! And that was at 6 pm!
The weather was perfect all day, really perfect. Sunny and warm without being hot, and I felt this desire in the late afternoon to go to the park down the road and chase the squirrels (while yelling, "Sq'rrl! Sq'rrl!" at them like a demented lunatic). I want to buy a cheap, big, colorful child's play ball and play lazy man's soccer with Wendy and Jen. I want to buy rosemary olive oil bread and nice cheese and sparkling apple juice and sit around outside having a picnic. I want to meet random strangers and invite them to lunch with me to discuss poltics and philosophy and the meaning of life.

I laid on my bed most of the day in the sunshine, doing homework. I think I read most of the New Testament this afternoon, all completely out of order. I remember pieces of Galatians, Philippians, Romans, I Timothy, and Colossians. I don't know what the connecting theme was in all of the readings... That's a sign I didn't actually do what I was supposed to with the assignments (i.e. pay attention to them).

Talking to Annie on the phone.
I was reading in another one of my assignments that in India you can ask someone-- anyone-- to be an incarnation of the God for you.
Annie is my God incarnate. Whenever I'm around her, my heart is so full of love I think I could die. Love... Agape. My breast is full of agape, and there is no room for anything else.

Owen is planning on helping overthrow the evil religious right. That makes me love Owen a lot. (Philos...)

I should take a shower and lay by my windows naked, the cool breezes trailing over my skin like a lover's hand as I study Koine Greek, the ancient words reviving as they hit the warmth of my mouth.

I should not worry about anything, just for tonight.
lykomancer: (Default)
Well, for the first time in over five years, I've finally begun drawing again. Not those piddling half-realized sketches, not anime-style junk-food portraiture with no backgrounds and half-assed colored with Prang pencils, but REAL drawing. Shading, detail, backgrounds, perspective, symbolism.

I went out and spent 70 bucks on new art supplies: Prismacolor pencils, waterproof India ink, finepoint dip-pens, Micro Pigma markers, camel hair watercolor brushes, tubes of watercolor gouche, a heavy-weight fine-toothed 8x11 drawing pad. Totally worth it, though I actually haven't touched any of it yet (...except to unwrap it from the plastic and gloat over it, sniffing the "new stuff" smell). I wanted to finished the last picture I started with the old before I broke into the new.
And what a picture it is that I just finished! For the for time in years, I sat down an did an entire piece in pointillism-- yeah, I did the whole thing with dots, shading, texture, and all. And it is super-cool.

(And interestingly, I did a brief bored sketch from memory of Theresa-san, and when Julie flipped through my book and saw the sketch, she recognized who it was supposed to be. o.O I don't think it's that good of a likeness...)

And I've got so much homework to do...still working on that #$%&!ing annotated bibliography, but I've go enough done that I think I have plenty of time to find my last six sources and write them up. And I have to remember that I'm on the worship group for Thursday's class, and that I should find some reading or artwork or something to bring. And I really should finish reading Harnack for Historical. And I have to remember to take my sexism collage into class with me on Thursday.
And I want to remember to find a Writer's Market and write down some likely places I can sell some of my older writings both to a) get some money and b) get to say that I actually am published. I want to see if any place will take my photography as well.

And sadly, Tom comes home tonight. Is it wrong of me to hope that bad weather will keep him in Iowa another day?

I suppose I should go get crackin' on my work...
lykomancer: (Default)
But I'm not. I'm wasting time until I get to sing for chapel.
Go me, go!

(I'm gonna do my research after chapel, ok? I'm not being a complete loser.)

Man, so far all the research that I have done just makes me feel terrible and wish that a)free-range organic meat wasn't so damned expensive, b)I had the time, money, and location to hunt my food, or c)I had the balls to go vegetarian (which I probably would consider more if meat-substitute stuff wasn't so expensive). It's really not the concept of meat that I have a problem with-- things die, I eat them-- it's the practice of industrial ranching. *sigh*

I don't think Tom and I are communicating well.
We were walking about moving out of this apartment and into the new one, and I'm like, "OK, we rent a U-Haul, throw everything in it, and we can be completely moved in a day!"
And Tom went, "Well, we can move into the new place whenever we want-- since we have the keys now-- but since we also have this apartment for the entire month of December, we can move slowly, piece by piece, until classes are over."
Me: "But... how are we going to move things piece by piece if we don't have say, a truck? We can't move the furniture in a car, Tom, and I don't see the sense in renting a U-Haul more than once, considering the price."
Tom: "...oh, yeah. I suppose I didn't think of that."
But then a little while later, I heard him on the phone with someone saying that "we're planning on taking our know, moving slowly since there's no reason to rush."
*smashes head into wall*
I told him and told him that I hate living in transition, that I just want to get this done and over with as soon and as quickly as possible. His response to this is to suggest that "one of us can stay at this old apartment, to guard our stuff while we move slowly."
No, Tom, I don't think you get it. I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH QUICKLY AND SOON. (God, Tom's actually acting like a sterotypical man; who'd've thunk it?)
Also, if one person stays behind at the old place for a month, while everyone else is living together in the new, it seems to me that there is a chance for the three to form a little triumvirate, and accidentally "exclude" the fourth who joins later. (You know what I mean?)

I should probably go sing now.

Oh, yeah... randomness:
You are pansexual.

What is your sexual orientation?
brought to you by Quizilla
lykomancer: (hurt)
I am currently enjoying the the feeling of my brain trying to forcefully escape through my eyes. I'm tired, sleepy, hungry, and I have two hours to go until my three hour long class.

I was scheduled to work this week forty hours-- yep, full time-- including working Thursday (which I requested off so that I had one guaranteed homework day), plus had a two-page paper to write and about four hundred pages of reading to do. I talked to my boss about Thursday, and all she was giving me was a "well, we'll have to work something out."
I worked from one until 8 yesterday, and that means I needed Tom to pick me up, as the bus doesn't run after 7. I also found out that Sheri left me a note asking if I could come in at 8:30 today instead of 10 like I was scheduled. Now, I already knew Tom was going to be late, but he ended up running later than he expected and didn't show up until ten after nine. So, I was sitting outside, freezing cold, thinking about all my homework, and knowing that I had to be back at work in twelve hours for roughly forty-five minutes.
I yelled at Tom in the car, and when we got home it was pretty quiet until I got out of the shower and threw myself on my couch and Tom tried to explain why he was late.
And I started fucking crying.
No, not frustrated crying, not I'm upset stuff, but real barking, gasping sobs. And I start in on Tom. About how the garbage needs to be taken out and he won't goddamm do it, and that he works so much less than me and he's only taking one more class that me (and yes, I know that one class means driving up to Ashland and everything that goes along with teaching), and how tired I am, and how I don't feel that it's fair that he sleeps in half-way through my work day and plays solitaire on the computer all night when I'm doing reading for class, and so on and so forth.

I don't think that got us anywhere.

First, he declared that he understood that "it's just the depression speaking," which would have pissed me off more if I hadn't been sobbing uncontrollably at that point. Second, he just kind of shrugged it off saying that he worked all during college, only ever failed one class, and that I just sat around and played then and that now he's decided to take it easy on himself and I've decided to go into overdrive. (This resulted in me shrieking at him that I don't want to have to push so hard, but I don't see any other way to make ends meet, and that I wanted a better job.)

I dunno, I'm still frustrated. I'm pretty sure this is a whopper of a tension headache, and as soon as I disengage myself from the internet I'm hunting down some water and pills.

God, this fuckin' sucks.

Tommorrow, I have off. Tomorrow, I am GETTING SHIT DONE.
Tomorrow, I am taking back the twenty-three library books I have out, hitting up Nicolet Ave for Jenny (I have a few things to send up with Tom, too... not sure it they are anything you want in particular, but I figure you can figure out something to do with 'em), maybe getting a badly needed haircut, doing all my reading for Thursday's class.

I feel terrible. Doesn't it ever stop?


Sep. 18th, 2004 11:02 am
lykomancer: (Default)
Man, I think my boss is either peeved about having to rearrange things last week so that I could go to Ashland or something. I don't get a single day off until next Thursday-- that's a week straight with no days off at all. And all my shifts are seven and a half to eight hours long. :(

Fuckin' sucky, ne?

My matriculation interview (to become a full time student) is Monday evening, right after work, so at least that'll be out of the way.

Geez...I don't want to want to go to work. My job isn't hard, it's just soul-suckingly boring, repeatative, and I have to be on my feet the whole time.
And I come home to Tom.
(And, at this point, Paul Tillich)


More bizarre and interesting fanart from Solid and Etc. )
lykomancer: (Default)
I have to keep a response journal for my spring class and, quite simply, I find it easier to face a blank LiveJournal box than an empty Word file, and since this is a journal project, I'll just write it out here and transfer it into Word for printing.

(To those of you I see on a daily basis, most of this will be repetition/regurgitation. I reflect best sometimes by bouncing ideas off of you guys, and therefore, my little muses, you get to hear most of this before it gets written down.)

Musings on classism and social inequality )


God, I'm so tired. It's only eleven-- not even quite that. I need to stay up so that I can get back on my normal sleep cycle (cause then I'll stop being tired all the time).


Feb. 25th, 2004 10:38 pm
lykomancer: (Default)
So I'm actually working on my capstone.

Yeah. And not even bitching about it. Or pausing every minute and a half to search the internet for bad slash fanfiction. Or snarling in frustration and getting up to pace the room like a caged tiger before flinging myself into the chair and typing another sentence before getting up again.

Yay for me.

Listening to Stuart Davis. I love Stu. He rocks my universe. I think he's one of the things I am going to miss most when I leave for where ever the Peace Corps sends me.

Ramblings on Stuart Davis and how utterly cool he is. )

Geez, I might actually get some shit acomplished this week.

I'm also progressing on my absolutely random Hellsing fic, "Tell Me How You're Feeling," which is fun. Yay for writing. Yay for pointless fanfic. Yay for priests with swords. (Although I DID realize that the section I am working on right now reflects-- in a subtle, subversive, fun-house-mirror kind of way-- my weekly meetings about my capstone with my advisor.
Damn. I should just start taking sanctified holy swords to those meetings. That might make things go better.
Couldn't possibly make them go worse.)

Back to editing. ^.^
(Thank you for returning from your vacation in Tahiti, Muse!)
lykomancer: (Default)
I should so be writing more on my capstone instead of writing here.

Oops. My bad.

It's been a strange semester.
I mean, I knew over Christmas Break that I was going to have to write my capstone, and had rummaged through various things from X-Files comic books and videos to the Bible looking for inspiration. What ended up tapping over something in my brain was Lawrence Gardner's The Bloodline of the Holy Grail, in which he ties everything from Gothic cathedral stained glass windows to the ability of the Ark of the Covenant to conduct electricity (to the Knights Templar to King Arthur to the legend of the unicorn) to Jesus surviving the Crucifixion and the continued legacy of Jesus and Mary Magdelene in the West.
This perked me up, and go me interested in things I've always been interested in but never delved into completely not tied together.
Then I spent a lot of time smashed between two crazy otakus in a madhouse of Inuyasha, Hellsing, Chrno Crusade, Full Metal Alchemist, and Scrapped Princess. Looney otaku who like to analyse everything and rip a series to bleeding pieces and inspire one another to horrible, horrible fanfic and -art.
And I'm in Intro to Christian Theology.

Lots of stuff is turning over in my mind. Percolating down through the seams in my brain and forming steaming puddles of mental refuse at the bottom of my skull.

Angels, gods, demons, Nephilim... power. Death. Heaven, hell, pergatory. Youkai, daimons, hanyou. Vampires. Ritual. Nuclear annhilation. Prayer. Lucifer, Lilith, Lady of the Lake. The Antichrist. The Fall, the Apocalypse, the Apocrypha, Gnosticism. Philos = love. Sophia = wisdom. The Serpent in the Garden, the apples of Avalon, the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, the golden apples Hercules had to fetch from the Garden of Hesperides, the leaf of the Tree of Immortality carried off by the guardian serpent Ningizzida. The five rivers of the realm of Pluto: Acheron, Cocytus, Phelethon, Lethe, Styx. Pandemonium. "Bedlam", derived from "Bethlehem." The Hero's Journey.

I may do something with this soon. My capstone project does tie a lot of things together, but I am learning and seeing so much more that I cannot write into it. Rythyms and patterns that exist on a different thread. New stories; new ideas.


lykomancer: (Default)

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