lykomancer: (Gabriel)
I have the sexiest werewolf on the planet. LIEKWHOA, hardcore.

Admire the hotness that is Gabriel Koboyashi, second beast of Revelations, right hand woman/wolf to Satan, assassin, smartass. )

*wibbles, then licks the beastie*
I so need to get cracking on Blessed Be. Gabriel must be written in all of her sexy, sexy glory.

___
The icon, interstingly enough, is actually a scan from one of Hirano Kouta's earlier pre-Hellsing manga that I cropped and colored to be Gabriel. It was too perfect for me not to.
lykomancer: (I'm a work of art)
So you get drawings instead of writing.

First you get anime-style sketches of my werewolf assassin, Gabriel.
Her first appearance on paper, which is a little rough, of course.
Cleaned up a bit. After a few tries, I nailed this look as her final draft, which I am really happy with.
Because everyone loves a naked werewolf
Chibi Gabriel! Awwww, she's so cute!

Next up:
Bad Envy fanart! Huzzah!
(Man, this sketch is old! It's from, like, last May, when I decided that Envy in a pair of cut-off Daisy-Duke shorts was a must in my life. However, I just couldn't bring myself to draw a realistic...um, bulge...as he should have. Just couldn't.)

But sometimes I REALLY, ACTUALLY draw!
A draco-corn from a D&D campaign I played in once. Fiddled with this a little in Photoshop, but not much. The colors really are that luscious and vibrant on paper. ^_^ Prismacolor pencils on smooth grain paper.

And the creme de le creme:
An anthropomorphic doe crucified.
Blessed are the Meek
I was doing a lot of reading about animal rights and liberation theology, and it occurred to me: if Jesus came to embody all human suffering, why not all animal suffering as well? This is the result of that musing.
I love pointillism. I don't know why, but I do. Sick, huh? This was done in a week, using .3 Micro Pigma markers and fine-point black Sharpies on rough grain paper.
Here's a detail


Maybe I'll scan in my kirin later, as I am inordinately proud of how that one came out.
But there you go.
lykomancer: (I'm a work of art)
It's one o'clock in the morning and there is the taste of carmel and coconut in my mouth and my headphones are directing the jangling piano and nonsensical yet somehow pleasing Japanese lyrics of a blasphemous and bloody anime into my head. My fingers dance along the keys and I think yes, yes, this is what i need to have on my "soundtrack" for the rewrite of Blessed Be...
I wait until the end and then find "Easy Jesus", another clear pick, and listen as I write, wishing that it wasn't one in the morning, wishing I didn't have neighbors, wishing my roommates wouldn't be disturbed if I suddenly cranked the volume and began gutturally snarling along with the song.

/walking down the freeway and the moon is gone
talking to the stars and waiting for the sun
the moon is gone
the moon is lost
I see the blackness and the plastic neon cross/


All of my older stories are getting butchered in my head. Some of them I won't even pick up for fear of the damage I might wreak upon their helpless descriptions and paper characters, on the words stacked like squat little brick houses. I look at the cozy little cottages and I think no, no, this is all wrong. we need porthole windows and double french doors; we need another room, another floor, eaves and scrollwork and flying buttresses. you can't have flying buttresses in sturdy brick bungalows. what was i thinking?
There's nothing actually wrong with those houses; it just finally occurs to me that I might use those same bricks instead to build a castle or a tower or an obelisk, but just the same, they are good houses, and I'm afraid that if I tear them down I might not be able to build a castle and then I wouldn't have anything to shelter my story and characters... I wouldn't have anything but the idea shivering out in the cold and an unsorted crumbling pile of broken words.

There was yet another unidentifiable and unknown person who had friended me. I friended them back. I'm such a sucker for an audience.

I finally have some breathing time this weekend. I can finally catch up on my homework. I can go to the gym. I can read all those books I've bought recently and have not had the time to read (The Right to Write, Wolf Night, The Chronicles of Narnia). I can watch all the anime I've downloaded and haven't been able to watch.
I can write and write until my fingers ache and the screen is dirty and blurry to my weary eyes, catching up to all those thoughts I've been writing down and have not addressed.
And I will write and write and write. Reams of analysis and explanation and personal essay and memoir and horror and fantasy. I hope to have another ten pages of my new draft of Blessed Be (damn, that thing needs a new name! Any suggestions?) and thirty pages addressing other issues typed up by Monday.

You want an anime microfanfiction? Challenge me. Give me series and a germ of an idea, and I'll give you a story, 100-500 words. Any series you know I am familiar with; any genre (AU, WAFF, humor, crossover, etc.); any pairing (yes, even hetero. God, the horror).

Look out world! Jess's inner demon muse is chained to the oar.
lykomancer: (upset)
About thirty pages of unedited eschatological/fantasy/horror slop (AKA: Blessed Be) 'cause Jenna-chan asked. Most of you have read parts of this. I'm posting it again 'cause I can.

My therapist has diagnosed me with reoccurring major depressive episodes. Isn't that nice? It means I'm going to get some really kick-ass drugs prescribed to me on Thursday when I go to see the head-shrinker.

My two new roommates still aren't here.

Life fuckin' sucks and I don't want to go to class. I want to curl up in a little ball and smash my head against something hard until I pass out. I feel like a real waste of space tonight.

Trying to get published. Sending off a short story that I wrote for Michele's class off to Flesh and Blood, a fantasy/horror mag. Seems like the place to start, anyway.

...I think that's all I've really got to say. Anything else would just be smacking an equine carcass around. Mmmm...dogfood.
lykomancer: (Happy)
Feelin' pretty good. Day off; headin' to the library (with the specific intent of picking up a very smutty sounding novel called The Darker Passions: Dracula. MMmm, published smut. I hope to never again be able to watch Hellsing without giggling). Mmm, library. I love the library.
[EDIT: They didn't have it. Disappointing, but understandable.
I got 22 other books instead, gloriously hogging the express checkout counter.
Fabulous.]

Worked things here at United, and Lo and Behold! I might be accepted as a full-time student with financial aid and everything by mid-September! YIPPEE! All I need is the two letters of recommendation from Carol Shaddy and David Saetre (I've already emailed them about it) and my transcripts, which I can get now because Judith gave me the money to pay back Northland. Provided I get those three things, pass an interview and writing sample (oh, yeah, that's gonna be hard!), and take one more class...I'M IN!
*pant, pant, pant*

[egomaniac hour]
I FUCKING ROCK!
I FUCKING SHOOT AND SCORE AND IT TOOK ME ALL GODDAMN SUMMER BUT I HAVE A FUCKING JOB AND NORTHLAND PAID OFF AND I'M POSITIVE THAT I CAN GET EVERYTHING I NEED FOR UNITED AND THEN I ONLY HAVE TO PAY JUDITH BACK AND MY LOANS WILL GET DEFERRED, AND THERE'S A STUART DAVIS CONCERT AND TRIP TO ASHLAND IN MY FUTURE AND SWIMMING IN THE LAKE AND HARASSING PROFESSORS AND DRINKING SAKE AND WATCHING ANIME AND JENNY'S COOKING, AND EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT SO FUCKING PERFECTLY AND YES, YES, YES! IT'S ORGASMIC-LY GOOD!
[end egomaniac hour]

*looks around suspiciously*
It's too good. I keep waiting for something to go horribly, terribly wrong. ~knock on wood, cross fingers, pray~

I've also got bitten by the writing bug again, and have written another six pages on Blessed Be. It looks as though it might be a real novel... however, I wonder if it works out well in text, considering that it was originally slated as in comic-style. I keep feeling like all I'm doing is describing the action panel-by-panel, page-by-page instead of writing a real story. I could have this impressing because of the dialog-heaviness of the story thus far though.
I'm having problems controlling Gabriel...she desperately, desperately wants to have sex with the Devil, and she's not supposed to want that. I plotted her to have a thing for the Antichrist, but she's extremely resistant to that idea and quite unimpressed with Lucas. *sigh* Unruly wolfling. Bad dog, bad.

Tom continues to drive me crazy, in all the little ways. He waits until the sink is so full as to be unusable to do the dishes, and then it takes him two days to get them all done; he never takes out the trash; he keeps assuming he's told me stuff that he hasn't, and insists that he has even when I've proven he hasn't; he stands around and stares at things; he gets in the way.
When Tom's around, even making a cup of tea can be work.
I like Tom...I just can't wait until I'm not living with him anymore.

I got to go driving the other night. Scary for Tom, fun for me. I like driving Marybeth's car in the dark down windy roads! Heh.

(NOTES:
Angela, I need your address before I can mail you anything! Call me or email me.
Marybeth or Annie: when are you guys coming back to pick up Hotseat and your stuff? Neither Tom nor I can remember if you told either of us...)
lykomancer: (Default)
I don't know what I think of this AT ALL. It's kind of trauma-inducing, but I'm smiling/giggling hysterically, so...

[WARNING! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! (or possibly Jenny.)]

Ready?

Father Anderson, where are your clothes!?

*furtively favs*

Um... Right. Moving right along...

...


Here's some more of my stupid story that I should be working on but am-- for the most part-- really not.

Blessed Be

Story time

Jul. 29th, 2004 01:00 am
lykomancer: (Default)
Angela needs something to read/beta. I know she does. So I'll provide for her a little.

Blessed Be-- Prologue )

They are discussing the Antichrist, btw. Yay!
lykomancer: (Default)
Jesus, I'm soaked in sweat for my little jaunt down here to the seminary. It's not even that hot...just humid and sticky.

Talked to Jenny last night. She's about the only person I know at this point who is doing well.

Then I talked to Wendy.
Wendy was my best friend in high school. We were inseparable; we hung out, we had lockers together, we were silly and crazy and a little weird. We kept more or less in touch throughout my early years of college, but with out phone humbers changing all the time, it was hard. I hadn't talked to Wendy in over two years before last night; I couldn't get in touch with her.

But we talked for about two hours, and I hung up the phone feeling terrible. She's tired and lonely and sick in spirit; she's stuck living in a place she calls "the land of the lemmings" at a dead-end Wal-mart job with no friends to hang out with and nothing but bad memories haunting her.
The Wendy I knew was bouncy and enthusiastic and silly through anything; she was like a force of nature. This Wendy is soft-spoken and reserved and hesitant.
God, it hurts me.
I'm going to call her back tonight and insist that she move out here. Tom wants her to, too. (Tom has a tendency to "rescue" people.)

I dunno... *sigh*

No word back from the closed captioning people, damn them. I start with Citizen Action today, phone canvassing, and damn, even though I need the money and I need the job, I really, really don't want to do this. I'm so tempted to just go home and say fuck it. I don't want to be on the phone four hours a night reciting the same phrases over and over to get fat-cat rich people to donate money while I can't afford a cup of coffee. Grr... why doesn't Barnes & Nobles or someone just freakin' call me back and hire me?

Still plugging away at my story. You know, the one with werewolf assassins and the Antichrist and vampire Jesus. It's going well, although the characters are not behaving as I think they should. (Though, this is hardly surprising, really.)

Right. I should consider heading out to catch my bus.
lykomancer: (Default)
Contemplating the storyline of my not-quite sketched out pseudo comic Blessed Be (temporary name). You know, the one with the assassin werewolf Gabriel(le) Kobayashi who is the special secret agent of the Dragon, the ex-priest Antichrist Lucas (name derived from the same root word as "Lucifer"...how's that for cool attention to detail?), the nature demigod that likes to evangelize on streetcorners, and the retired angel Ophelia that runs a magick and fortune-telling shop. I think much of the plot depends on several random ideas that Jenny, Angela, and I have tossed around... for example, I'm pretty such I'm gonna make Christ a vampire, and that God is the bad-guy who just got to write history in His favor. I'll possibly even follow that Persian story of Lucifer loving God so much that he refused to serve mankind. I need to figure out what the Dragon and the Beast are and what they are doing; same with the horsemen (maybe I'll take a page out of my capstone on that one though...I am fairly lazy). I also need to really reread Revelations again and see how much I want to steal-- I mean, borrow.

MMMmmm... I need to start writing my wonderful, spiffy AionxSheda smut, which will be weird beyond most human comprehension. (Hey wait! I'm writing non-yaoi smut! I didn't think I was capable of such a thing.)
And I need to drive out the wicked temptation to attempt to write AlucardxAnderson smut... I blame that one on too much damned Stuart Davis music, which contains lyrics about God and sex and how "even the Devil is God." *smacks self*
Mayhap I will distract myself by writing EnvyxEd smut instead. There's just not enough of that in the world.

...

Whoa. I'm being more perverse than normal. What happened in my head?
*shrugs*
YAY FANFICTION!

Eh... I have to get working on my Human Conflict homework. Maybe this will teach me how to work with my mother without wanting to throttle her.

Jenny-chan... *grin* )
lykomancer: (Default)
While watching another of the Joseph Campbell Power of Myth videos tonight, I learned an interesting story.

According to ancient Persian myth, God created all of the angels, and he told the angels to worship Him.
After that, God created mankind, and, regarding humans as being superior to angels, He ordered the angels to bow also to man.

Lucifer would have no part of it. So great was the highest angel's love for his creator that he refused to obey anyone but God Himself. God-- being God-- was wrathful and demanded Lucifer bend his proud neck and serve the humans, but Lucifer loved only God and would not serve another.

God threw Lucifer from Heaven, forcing the angel to live forever separated from that which he loved most intensely... And what is Hell, truly, but eternal separation from love and the light of God?

However one must ask: is it better to be in Hell with a tormented, lonely Lucifer, or in Heaven with a God who cannot even comprehend love and passion?

I think I really wanna draw Lucifer now...

___
David Saetre quotes:

After talking about the wounding/castration of the Fisher King by the Muslim knight in the Grail lore:

"For a millennium and a half, we've been living out that myth. I'm tired of it...and I resent any religion that reinforces it."

We started talking about the iconography of the Catholic Church, and about the suggestion that the Virgin Mary statues were originally based of off Egyptian Isis sculptures:

Me: I hear that idea someplace else, actually. Jack Chick uses it as proof that the Catholics are goin' to Hell.
David: Jack Chick? Oh, Chick Publications?
Me: Yeah.
David: Well...Jack Chick is going to Hell.

(If you don't know who Jack Chick is, just Google it.)
lykomancer: (Default)
I should so be writing more on my capstone instead of writing here.

Oops. My bad.

It's been a strange semester.
I mean, I knew over Christmas Break that I was going to have to write my capstone, and had rummaged through various things from X-Files comic books and videos to the Bible looking for inspiration. What ended up tapping over something in my brain was Lawrence Gardner's The Bloodline of the Holy Grail, in which he ties everything from Gothic cathedral stained glass windows to the ability of the Ark of the Covenant to conduct electricity (to the Knights Templar to King Arthur to the legend of the unicorn) to Jesus surviving the Crucifixion and the continued legacy of Jesus and Mary Magdelene in the West.
This perked me up, and go me interested in things I've always been interested in but never delved into completely not tied together.
Then I spent a lot of time smashed between two crazy otakus in a madhouse of Inuyasha, Hellsing, Chrno Crusade, Full Metal Alchemist, and Scrapped Princess. Looney otaku who like to analyse everything and rip a series to bleeding pieces and inspire one another to horrible, horrible fanfic and -art.
And I'm in Intro to Christian Theology.

Lots of stuff is turning over in my mind. Percolating down through the seams in my brain and forming steaming puddles of mental refuse at the bottom of my skull.

Angels, gods, demons, Nephilim... power. Death. Heaven, hell, pergatory. Youkai, daimons, hanyou. Vampires. Ritual. Nuclear annhilation. Prayer. Lucifer, Lilith, Lady of the Lake. The Antichrist. The Fall, the Apocalypse, the Apocrypha, Gnosticism. Philos = love. Sophia = wisdom. The Serpent in the Garden, the apples of Avalon, the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, the golden apples Hercules had to fetch from the Garden of Hesperides, the leaf of the Tree of Immortality carried off by the guardian serpent Ningizzida. The five rivers of the realm of Pluto: Acheron, Cocytus, Phelethon, Lethe, Styx. Pandemonium. "Bedlam", derived from "Bethlehem." The Hero's Journey.

Hmm...
I may do something with this soon. My capstone project does tie a lot of things together, but I am learning and seeing so much more that I cannot write into it. Rythyms and patterns that exist on a different thread. New stories; new ideas.

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