lykomancer: (Zuko Drama and WTFry)
[personal profile] lykomancer
I seriously want to kill one of my coworkers.

He's not a bad guy. He's friendly. He's agreeable.

It's just that Dana's got the brains of a Labrador retriever.

So he's just annoying as all high fuck. He has absolutely no sense of urgency whatsoever. Give him a task-- any task, regardless of how simple-- and he will take three hours or more to get it done...if he gets it done at all. He stands around chatting all the time. If you start talking to him about something and the phone rings, he needs you to not just stop talking to him and ask him to answer it, but you need to practically scream at him to answer before he even looks at it.

I flat-out told Toni that if I had to set ad with him again soon, I'd flip my fucking shit. Setting ad takes about three and a half hours every Saturday night. We start at 5; we close at 7; and it's all supposed to be done by 8:30. If we get done sooner, we go home sooner, but it's rare to get done earlier than quarter to 8.

Unless fucking Dana's there. The last three times I set ad with him, we didn't get done any earlier than 9. Last Saturday-- not yesterday, but last week-- was 9:26. NINE FUCKING TWENTY-SIX. HE WAS STILL DOING FUCKING NINE-UPS AT 9:10! JESUS H FLYING CHRIST-CRISPIES.


We're supposed to report every instance where we talk to a customer in electronics or furniture and report whether we made a sale or not. There's not really any pressure, but corporate is trying to estimate how many sales we close vs. how many opportunities we have. To get an accurate number, we're supposed to report every conversation, no matter how short or if the customer is "just looking". I'm fairly good about this, so my opportunity to close rate is something like 5:1 or so.

Dana's opportunity to close rate is something like 7:6, which makes me strongly suspect that he's not reporting every opportunity. Yeah, he's apparently good at sales-- it's the only thing he's good at-- and maybe he got a wave of good luck yesterday, but those numbers seem unusually good.


Just... Just everything. Everything he does makes me want to slap the shit out of him. I want to cut his face up with pieces of glass.


Ugh.


In other news, I haven't expressed my love for Toni here.
Toni's management.
She just turned 24, which I managed to guess simply because I already knew she was 25 or younger. However, she acts like... I don't know how to phrase this. She acts like a Real Adult. Like a really Real Adult, more so that just about every other person I've EVER met, regardless of age or station.

She's also terrifying.

I'm not frightened of many people. I think I can count the list of people who scare me on two fingers. And Toni's one of those two.

It took me months to figure out her sense of humor, but once I did, I wasn't scared witless of her like I was at the beginning. Now I'm just intimidated-awed-obedient. However, we do get along decently. Before both Tim and Bethany left (*sadface*), they both separately reported that Toni liked me. I'm Cool with that. I Do Not Want to Piss Toni Off, because I have an active survival instinct which informs me that doing so would be a Critical Error.

I gotta admit, it's weird. I'm so unused to being scared or intimidated of anyone, of feeling like someone's really earned my respect and obedience, that there's a weird, erotic undertone to my response. That is what a Dominant is supposed to be like. Right there.


Anywho.
Back off to work. With luck, Dana's not there today. I don't want to spend my shift murderous.

Date: 2013-07-21 09:55 pm (UTC)
go_dog_go: Vintage illustration of young man and woman on beach with text: "I hate thinking!" and "Me too!" (thinking is stupid)
From: [personal profile] go_dog_go
I can count the list of people who scare me on two fingers. And Toni's one of those two.
Am curious who the other finger accounts for.

If Dana is a labrador, you could try bringing a Chuckit to work and whapping him on the head with the round end. It doesn't cause injury but is pretty effective for getting them to act less stupid, at least in the short-term.

Date: 2013-07-22 07:05 pm (UTC)
go_dog_go: Vintage illustration of young man and woman on beach with text: "I hate thinking!" and "Me too!" (thinking is stupid)
From: [personal profile] go_dog_go
Heh.

A book I just read bears the following simile, which you may find cause to use: "Dumber than a dump truck full of broken toilets."

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